


But You're My Soulmate

by sephirise



Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII, Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII (Video Game 1997)
Genre: Angst, Cloud has Good Friends, Dominant Sephiroth (Compilation of FFVII), Dubious Consent, M/M, Non-Graphic Violence, Obsessive Behavior, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Power Dynamics, Soulmates, Trope Subversion, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-12
Updated: 2021-01-30
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:02:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 8
Words: 23,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24151756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sephirise/pseuds/sephirise
Summary: As his soulmate, Sephiroth feels entitled to certain benefits. Cloud disagrees.
Relationships: Sephiroth/Cloud Strife
Comments: 119
Kudos: 632





	1. Match

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings:  
> Non-con: There is a lot of dubious consent and non-con touching in here, but no hard rape scenes.  
> Violence: there will be some violence, but it’s not very graphic.  
> Death: character death is planned, but Cloud and Sephiroth are safe.  
> Other: this is a very messed up and unhealthy relationship. It’s a roller coaster of attraction and hurt.
> 
> If you want to know more of what to expect from this story:
> 
> This story starts with Cloud being an aged-up cadet, but most of the story will take place during the original FF7 game. Cloud is older simply because I want him to be. There’s enough of a power imbalance between him and Sephiroth already, and I don’t want to write all of this dark stuff happening to a kid. There will be some puppet Cloud later on, but Cloud is a fighter, and he’s not going to just submit because Sephiroth is stronger than him.

Cloud stood at attention with the other cadets in the training room. Today they were given the honor of watching the great general Sephiroth spar with Angeal and Genesis. It was supposed to be motivational for the upcoming SOLDIER test. Cloud was thrilled to be able to see it, but he didn’t need any extra motivation. This year he was twenty two—the oldest possible age to try out. He was going to be a SOLDIER, and so he would not fail the test again.

As Sephiroth, Angeal, and Genesis entered the room, all the cadets rose their arms in salute. The three firsts stopped in the center of the training mats, facing them. Cloud’s commander took a minute to introduce the three, even though everyone already knew who they were. Cloud watched them curiously. He’d seen all three before of course, but only at a distance.

Everything about them screamed power, from their builds to their mako eyes to the way they stood and moved. They were just as impressive in person as they were in the propaganda. Cloud’s gaze kept returning to Sephiroth. Everyone else in the room looked outright ordinary next to him—even Genesis and Angeal. He was taller, incredibly handsome, and radiated a dangerous sort of strength.

Their eyes met and heat seared on Cloud’s wrist exactly where soulmarks were supposed to go. Everyone had a soulmate. There were many theories as to what it meant for two people to be soulmates, but most of society subscribed to the notion that it meant the two were the only possible romantic partners for each other. When soulmates made eye contact the first time, their names would be written on each other’s wrists in lifestream green.

Cloud took an involuntary step back, trying to process what was happening. Sephiroth’s eyes widened and flicked downwards, towards his own wrist.

“Cloud,” hissed the cadet behind him.

Cloud hastily stepped back into formation, glad that their commander was so focused on the three firsts. He swallowed nervously and moved his arm out of it’s salute just enough for his sleeve to shift and for him to see that there was now something on it. It couldn’t be...could it?

When he looked back down, Sephiroth’s green eyes were boring into him with predatory intensity. Time slowed. He’d admired the distinctive shade of green and cat-like pupils before, but now with their complete focus on Cloud, he couldn’t help but gasp.

His mind had deserted him and he didn’t know what to think or how to feel. He looked away.

When he looked back up, the general was eyeing him up and down. It took all of Cloud’s self control to stay in formation, arm held in salute. His heart beat so loud that it drowned out what his commander was saying. He suddenly felt like a piece of meat.

Their eyes met again and a shiver of unease shot down his spine. The corner of Sephiroth’s mouth curved up. But it wasn’t an ordinary smile. Cloud blinked, trying to understand. His soulmate was smiling at him. So why was it taking everything in him to suppress the visceral feeling of fear?

All the other cadets had broken formation and were moving to stand closer to the back wall. Sephiroth smirked. Cloud let himself be pulled along. It seemed that they were giving the three firsts as much space as possible. Genesis walked around, casting a few barrier and shell spells around the edge of the arena. The cadets murmured in excitement.

Sephiroth and Angeal stood ready about eight feet apart. Genesis fell into position next to Angeal. It was two against one.

Angeal and Genesis moved in sync, splitting off to flank Sephiroth. In a blur of motion, Sephiroth’s blade met Angeal’s. Sephiroth spun, silver hair flying through the air as he parried an incoming blow from Genesis.

Cloud had always admired the general. He’d been the reason he had joined Shinra when he was sixteen. He wanted to be strong like Sephiroth. He’d always been so excited when he could be in a crowd as Sephiroth marched by or gave a speech.

With everyone else's attention solidly elsewhere, Cloud pushed his sleeve back just enough to look at his new soulmark. And there it was—in the same green as the lifestream, written just above his pulse point.

Sephiroth.

Even staring directly at it, he couldn’t believe it. He traced the cursive with his other hand. It didn’t feel like anything, but the word was undeniably there. Sephiroth.

He supposed that this must make him the luckiest guy in the world. The Sephiroth was his soulmate. So many people dreamed of this. Members of the Silver Elite threw themselves, literally, into his path so that they’d have a chance to make eye contact with him.

There was a loud crash as Genesis was thrown, landing on one of the few patches of wall that didn’t have a cadet in the way. He slid to the floor and stood slowly. There was a large dent behind him and the shimmering of a broken barrier before him. Angeal and Sephiroth continued to duel. The cadets around him were making sounds of awe. For Genesis to stand up after that and for Sephiroth to use so much control that his enemy landed where he wanted while dueling multiple opponents was incredible.

Sephiroth and Angeal moved fast enough that Cloud couldn’t even appreciate their skill properly. Top SOLDIERS were leagues beyond any infantryman. Cloud knew he should be feeling awed and excited about the fight, but instead, the ease at which his soulmate could fight the other two had him swallowing nervously. Cloud was nowhere even close to Sephiroth’s level.

Why was he Sephiroth’s soulmate? How? He was just some four-time failed SOLDIER candidate. Cloud backed away, taking a spot closer to the wall that had been vacated by an excited cadet moving as close to the barrier as possible. He couldn’t even hold a candle to Sephiroth.

Then Cloud realized. When this duel ended, he was going to meet him. He thought of that predatory glint he’d seen in Sephiroth’s eyes, that dangerous smile, and the strength he was currently displaying. And that man was surely going to want to meet his soulmate. Suddenly it felt hard to breathe, and he knew that he wasn’t ready for this.

He moved as subtly as he could towards the back door. Luckily, most cadets had pressed forward and he was able to make it with only a few people jostled by his passage. Once he pushed through the door, he took off running. He made it through the empty locker room and into his barracks before finally slowing down enough to think.

Why was he running? He was going to be in so much trouble for skipping lessons.

No, fuck lessons. Why was he running from his soulmate? Cloud thought of those eyes and that smile and shivered. One facial expression. He was running because of one look. He leaned against a nearby wall with a sigh.

He wasn’t normally one to ignore his instincts, and in that moment he had seen pure danger. But that couldn’t be right. This was his soulmate. And the great hero Sephiroth. Cloud wasn’t an enemy of Shinra. Sephiroth was no threat to him.

Cloud closed his eyes and rubbed his temples. He forced himself to take a deep breath. He needed to think, and he needed to be alone. Cloud quickly changed into civilian clothes. It wouldn’t be long before some cadets returned to their shared quarters. He gathered his stuff and left for a long walk and maybe a drink or three. He’d deal with the consequences later.

~

That’s how he ended up running a hellacious amount of laps around the track long after all the other cadets had been dismissed and the sun had set. The track was lit by a few overly bright field lights that cast portions of the track into light brighter than day and left others hidden in shadow.

He was eighty laps into his punishment and felt like he was about to fall over. When he reached the next patch of non-obnoxiously bright turf, he slowed to a pace that could just barely be called moving to catch his breath. He wasn’t supposed to stop running until he either finished or collapsed. Cloud pushed the sweat-soaked hair away from his forehead. It momentarily stuck to the rest of his hair before falling back into his face. Cloud normally hated laps, but it was a good outlet for his frustrations from yesterday.

“Hello, Cloud,” said a deep voice from just off the track.

Cloud started and swung his head around. All he could see in the shadows were trees and Shinra equipment.

“Why don’t you join me?” The voice sounded like maybe Sephiroth’s? But it couldn't be.

Cloud blinked, trying to regain any night vision he’d had before running beneath the track light. He squinted at where the voice had come from and could just make out two mako green eyes. Cloud’s heart rate skyrocketed. He took a calming breath and a slow step forward.

He was pretty sure, but needed to confirm. “General?” He hated how tenative his voice sounded.

“Indeed.” Sephiroth said in a tone of voice Cloud wasn’t sure how to read.

Cloud took another deep breath and looked around. No one else was on the track with them.

“This shadow is one of the most private public places on Shinra grounds. No visibility and it is out of range of the recording devices.”

He didn’t know if that made him feel better or worse. Cloud took a step forward and firmly told himself that Sephiroth was not a danger to him. Whatever he’d seen or felt the day before had to have been misinterpreted due to his deluge of emotions. They were going to need to talk sooner or later and the privacy for that would probably be good. This was his soulmate. He was safe here. But the discomfort in his stomach remained more unease than butterflies.

As soon as his torso was covered in the shadow, Sephiroth grabbed his arm and pulled. Cloud tripped and was yanked against Sephiroth’s chest. He looked up, confused and mortified. But before he could say or do anything, Sephiroth’s lips crashed onto his.

Cloud’s mind went blank and his arms automatically pushed against the solid wall of muscle that was Sephiroth’s chest. He didn’t want this yet. Shouldn’t they talk first? His push did little. Sephiroth shifted and tightened his grip on Cloud. Cloud reflexively pushed harder, but it did nothing and with how tightly he was now held, he couldn’t reposition his arms to get better leverage.

Sephiroth’s tongue ran along Cloud’s lower lip, silently asking for entrance. Cloud barely restrained himself from all out panicking. He tried pushing away again, but it was like pushing a wall for all the effect it had. Sephiroth’s tongue traced the junction of Cloud’s firmly closed lips.

Sephiroth made a noise of discontent and finally pulled back. He peered at Cloud, his cat like pupils looking left and right between his eyes. Cloud froze, hands still pressed against Sephiroth’s chest.

“Cloud?” Sephiroth sounded strangely hesitant. Far more so than Cloud had ever imagined the general could. Despite his mounting panic, Cloud had the fleeting thought that it was unexpectedly endearing. Sephiroth looked down at where Cloud’s hands were still pressed against his chest, clearly not understanding. “Do you not wish to kiss?”

Cloud inhaled shakily and opened his mouth. “I...uh…”

“But you’re my soulmate.”

Cloud gaped at the man, trying to figure out how to explain that he didn’t want to just straight make out.

But Sephiroth must have taken his silence and open mouth as consent because the next moment, his warm lips were moving against his own and Sephiroth’s tongue was cautiously moving inside his mouth. Cloud froze again. Sephiroth snaked his arms under Cloud’s and around his waist. Cloud was once more pulled flush against Sephiroth, except this time, Cloud’s arms were out of the way—forced up and over Sephiroth’s.

Cloud stood completely still. Was he...was he just going to let this happen? Could he even stop it?

But no...this was his soulmate. He should want this, shouldn’t he?

Cloud forced himself to relax. Sephiroth had closed his eyes when he instigated the kiss. In the darkness, Cloud could just barely see the silver bangs that messily framed his face. Sephiroth shifted, and Cloud could feel that a lot of Sephiroth’s hair had fallen over his right shoulder. Sephiroth smelled good, Cloud suddenly realized. Like really good. There was a mixture of leather and some nice soap, but beneath it was just an absurdly good smelling man.

He was in the embrace of a hot, powerful, and ridiculously good smelling man. Cloud should want this.

Sephiroth squeezed his waist, eliciting a surprised grunt out of Cloud, which Sephiroth eagerly responded to. Cloud only hesitated for a moment longer before finally moving to return the kiss. He met Sephiroth’s tongue with his own and brought his hands together to gently rest on Sephiroth’s shoulder blades.

Sephiroth groaned and increased his pace, now positively ravishing Cloud’s mouth. Cloud gasped and squeezed his eyes shut. His fingers dug into the leather of Sephiroth’s jacket.

This was his soulmate. This was his idol. He was lucky to be kissing him. He should want this.

Sephiroth’s arms quested along his back, and Cloud just barely stopped himself from shivering. The thin fabric of Cloud’s sweat-soaked training uniform might as well have not been there for how much Cloud could feel Sephiroth’s leather-gloved fingers as they roamed around his back and sides. They moved tenderly, but Cloud didn’t doubt that they could turn painfully strong without warning.

As one slid down to his butt, Cloud couldn’t stop himself from trembling. Nor could he ignore his own feelings any longer. He clenched his mouth shut and turned his head away. He wanted to cry, even though he didn’t fully understand why.

Sephiroth drew back, his hands sliding up to Cloud’s shoulders. Cloud forced himself to breathe evenly. He would not cry. Not here, not in front of Sephiroth. No matter what, he couldn’t cry.

A leather hand nudged Cloud’s face up. Sephiroth’s eyes were lidded and dilated.

Cloud took a small step back. “S-stop.”

Sephiroth blinked, and with an expression of utter bewilderment asked, “you want me to stop?”

Cloud took another step back and guided Sephiroth’s hand off his face. He took another steadying breath, then firmly said, “Yes.”

Before he could double-think it, he turned and ran. Despite having thought that he could barely run one more lap earlier, he flew like he was fresh out of warm-ups. Sephiroth let him go, watching from the thickest patch of shadow.


	2. Chase

The next morning, Cloud barely made it to his post on time. He’d been tense all night, tossing and turning with his thoughts and emotions swirling all over the place.

His partner, a shy, but kind man named Matz, gave him a salute as he fell into place. Cloud saluted back with a polite smile. He pulled his sleeves down despite their long length and the fact that he’d already covered his soulmark with a bandaid.

They were standing guard on a low-traffic doorway on one of the higher floors. As an infantryman that had been with Shinra for over five years, he was routinely placed on some of the more important missions and guarding restricted access areas, like this one. But despite that trust, he had never been told what he was guarding. From his previous shifts here, he’d seen lots of secretaries and scientists entering and leaving with various papers, so he assumed it to be records of some sort.

It always made for a boring shift. The most action he got was from office types insisting that they had access despite their keycards blinking red as they repeatedly swiped. But after his night, boring was nice.

He stood in routine, mandated silence with Matz and let his thoughts drift. It still seemed somewhat surreal that he’d made out with Sephiroth or that his name was on his wrist. But more pressingly, how could he be afraid of his soulmate? Of all people, he should be able to stay in the same room as his soulmate. And yet...Cloud had run twice now. He wanted to ignore his sense of danger, but Sephiroth was powerful and willing to attack from the shadows.

Maybe distance would solve it. Maybe once he made SOLDIER things would fall into place like they were supposed to with soulmates. He’d be strong like he’d always wanted.

He tried to use his quiet shift to plan what he would say the next time he saw Sephiroth because it was bound to happen, but he struggled to focus. His thoughts drifted to fantasies of him telling Sephiroth off or Sephiroth explaining how it’d all been a misunderstanding and Cloud suddenly being able to feel safe around the man.

Sometime after lunch, Cloud’s thoughts were interrupted by a surprised inhale from Matz. Matz quickly saluted and stood with the best posture Cloud had ever seen from the young man. Cloud rushed to copy Matz just as he spotted the very man he wanted to avoid walking towards them. He stiffened. It hadn’t even been a full day since their last encounter.

Sephiroth stared directly at him, and despite his helmet, Cloud had no doubt that Sephiroth was fully aware of who he was looking at.

“At ease,” Sephiroth said. Then he turned to Matz. “Cadet, I seem to have forgotten a cart for the records I need. Go fetch me one.”

Matz visibly swallowed. “I...sir...I can’t leave my post.”

Sephiroth quirked an eyebrow. Matz didn’t move, and in that moment, Cloud felt a new respect for his partner. Their orders had been to never leave their post while on duty—not even for outranking Shinra employees. And here was shy Matz, standing his ground.

After a moment of silence in which it became clear that Matz wasn’t going to relent just because of Sephiroth’s stare, Sephiroth said, “the records room will be fine. I’ll keep it safe until you return.”

“I...uh…” Matz stuttered as he looked away.

“Go, Cadet,” Sephiroth said with a hint of impatience, and a sharp look.

Matz hesitated for a moment longer before nodding and rushing down the hall. Cloud’s stomach sank as he was left alone with Sephiroth, but he couldn’t blame Matz. He eyed the visible security camera down the hall in the hopes that it would give him some manner of protection.

“Cadet Cloud Strife,” Sephiroth said slowly. His eyes roamed down his body.

Cloud suppressed the urge to shift uncomfortably and hoped his helmet helped hide his emotions. All of the witty and stupid things that he had thought to say had deserted him. His fantasies of everything working out were muted by the warning bells going off in his head.

“Not even a greeting?” Sephiroth took a couple steps towards him, entering Cloud’s bubble of personal space.

“Sir,” Cloud said.

Sephiroth took another step forward so that they were nearly touching. Sephiroth’s gaze was piercing, almost dissecting as it took him in from above. Cloud had never felt more grateful for his helmet.

“Why so tense?” Sephiroth paused before saying his name like he was rolling it around on his tongue. “Cloud.”

Cloud took a steadying breath and glanced back at the security camera as he gathered his courage. Sephiroth must have misinterpreted the head movement because before he could say anything, Sephiroth’s arms were up against the wall, pinning him in. Cloud’s stomach leapt into his throat.

“Thinking of running again?”

Cloud licked his lips nervously, noticing the way the general’s eyes locked onto them. Images of them making out and the part in which Cloud had returned the kiss flashed through his mind. He felt conflicted for a moment before remembering the feeling of Sephiroth’s arms holding him close despite Cloud trying to push him away. He eyed Sephiroth’s too capable arms that were caging him in place and once again felt frustratingly powerless. He clenched his hand tightly into a fist.

“No, sir,” Cloud said. He almost wished he hadn’t called him ‘sir’, but years of training ran deep, and he was still struggling to remember what he wanted to say. “I will not leave my post.”

“What a good little cadet,” Sephiroth commented condescendingly. His posture was menacing, and he looked intently assessing and calculating, but then a flash of uncertainty crossed his eyes as he said, “you are not happy to see me.”

Cloud hesitated. The words hung heavy in the air between them.

Sephiroth sighed and took a step back. He turned away, pensively bringing a hand to his face. “It’s as I thought then.”

Cloud’s hopes soared at the simple retreat. Would Sephiroth respect his boundaries? Just like that? “Sephiroth…”

Sephiroth ignored him, looking up, across the wide hall at where the wall and ceiling met. “I was confused by your actions last night. Why would my soulmate deny me? And here you are today, still resisting the pull…. But I understand now.”

Hope, dread, and guilt warred within Cloud.

“Gaia has given me a soulmate with a chase.” Sephiroth turned to face him again. He was looking at Cloud so hungrily that he might as well have not been wearing the helmet for all the security it provided. Cloud tried to take a step back, but hit the wall.

“I wouldn’t have minded if we’d been like most soulmates.” Sephiroth advanced and rested his hand on Cloud’s exposed lower cheek. Cloud froze, heart hammering in his chest. “Can’t you sense it, Cloud? Our physical chemistry?”

Cloud hated that he noticed the general’s scent at that moment.

Sephiroth laughed. “But it is better this way. The chase is an unexpected bonus.”

Sephiroth’s gloved hand gently moved towards his chin. Cloud took a deep breath and pushed the general away with all his strength. Sephiroth stumbled back, his feet so light and graceful that he never lost balance.

Sephiroth’s smile widened, and that hungry gleam was back in his eyes. “Do you like to be chased? Don’t worry, Cloud. I’ll catch you. You are, after all, already mine.”

Sephiroth started walking away.

“Wait!” Cloud took a couple steps to follow him before stopping, not wanting to leave behind the door he was now guarding alone.

Sephiroth paused, looking over his shoulder.

“I think we should keep some distance for now. Let’s not force anything. We can try again later, like maybe when I’m a SOLDIER.”

Sephiroth hummed noncommittally and continued walking. Cloud watched, feeling powerless as Sephiroth reached the end of the hall and disappeared around the corner. He absolutely did not like the idea of being Sephiroth’s thing to chase.

Some time later, Maxt returned, out of breath and pushing an empty records cart at a rapid pace. He slowed as he reached Cloud.

“He’s gone,” Cloud said.

“The general?” Maxt asked, sounding slightly out of breath. He gripped the handle of the cart tightly.

“Yeah.”

Maxt groaned and pushed the cart to the side. “I can’t believe I left my post.”

“Everything was fine,” Cloud said, wishing it were true.

“Thanks for covering for me, Cloud.” Maxt sighed and took a minute to gather himself before he stepped back into his position. “At least this all happened on the day I probably won’t be found out by Commander Pencs. Thank Gaia for camera failures.”

Cloud tensed. “What?”

“Oh yeah, Commander Pencs stopped by just before the shift started and let me know.” Maxt must have misunderstood Cloud’s tension because he added. “I’m sure he didn’t expect you to be early after all those laps last night.”

Cloud smiled weakly and they fell back into the silence they were supposed to maintain on shift.

Cloud had no doubt that Sephiroth was involved in the security system being down. He didn’t believe in coincidences that big. It seemed the general was going to quite some lengths to keep their bond a secret. Cloud was relieved that their encounter hadn’t gone further, but he supposed that they had still been in a public hallway.

Cloud was glad for the secrecy they were both exerting. He didn’t want to deal with being Sephiroth’s soulmate in public. Or private, really, but he didn’t have a choice in soulmates.

It was crazy to think that only a few days ago he would have been thrilled to learn that Sephiroth was his soulmate.

~

Cloud had two days of tense peace, then his PHS buzzed just as he was going to go to bed. He pulled it off its charger and flipped it open. He had one new text from an unknown number. He frowned as he read the short message.

“Dinner tomorrow—1800 hours at 843 7th Ave”

Cloud was suddenly wide awake with his heart pounding in his ears. Despite strongly suspecting the answer, he responded, “Who’s this?”

The reply was near instant. “Do not pretend that you don’t know who this is.”

Cloud’s motionlessly stared at his phone. He really shouldn’t be surprised that the general had gotten his number, but still, the breach of privacy unsettled him.

Was Sephiroth asking him on a date? Cloud struggled to wrap his head around the idea. After their last few interactions, a romantic dinner with the man seemed ludicrous. He pictured Sephiroth looking at a plate of salad with the same predatory, hungry look he’d used when trapping Cloud against the wall. He gave a brief, slightly hysterical laugh.

Sephiroth wasn’t even asking him, just stating a time and place. That alone made him want to reply back with a no, but Cloud forced himself to take a deep breath and think. How would Sephiroth take a no? Would he laugh it off like last time or get mad? What would a mad Sephiroth mean for him? Cloud shivered and tried not to think about it. But he also didn’t want to just let himself be cowed by the man. He’d had enough of that from various bullies to last him a lifetime.

He didn’t want to show his fear. Was he taking too long to reply? Cloud reread the conversation. Did he even have to reply? If he didn’t, Sephiroth would probably assume that he was going to meet him. What if he simply didn’t show up? No, that would go worse than refusing the invitation. He was overthinking it.

Cloud texted, “I’ll pass on dinner.”

Cloud stared at his phone waiting for a reply, his nerves growing with every moment that passed. After several minutes, Cloud got up and started pacing. None of the cadets he shared the barracks with commented on his agitation. He wasn’t particularly close with any of them.

Several more minutes went by. Cloud supposed this meant that Sephiroth probably wasn’t going to reply. Cloud left the barracks so his restless pacing wouldn’t bother anyone.

Had he made a mistake? He seriously doubted Sephiroth was going to leave him alone. Maybe he should have agreed to the date. Perhaps over a civil dinner he would be able to make Sephiroth see his side of things. But as he really considered it, the dread swirled heavily in his stomach. Too heavily. He highly doubted he could convince Sephiroth, and then he would just be alone in actual privacy with a dangerous, powerful man that wanted to ‘chase’ him.

He opened his phone and reread the texts. Then he typed out, “I really don’t think we should rush our soulmate connection. Let’s give it some time.”

A few moments passed before his phone buzzed. “Why fight the inevitable? You’ll be so much happier when you give in.”

Cloud sighed and he brushed the hair out of his face. Sephiroth was indeed set in his views.

Cloud knew that he had an unusual view of soulmates. He didn't fully agree with her, but he'd grown up with a single mom who’d told him time and time again that soulmates don’t have to define you or dictate who you spend your time with. Cloud had had many conversations with people that insisted soulmates meant true love no matter what. His mom wasn’t the only person with a soulmate relationship that didn’t work out, but all such cases seemed to be swept under the rug with varying excuses along the lines of ‘they gave up too soon’ with a follow up of ‘and look how miserable they are now’ whether it was true or not. He’d learned to give up arguing with such people.

Cloud stared at Sephiroth’s words for a moment longer. Then he decisively shut his phone and returned to the barracks.

He didn’t sleep much.

~

Over the next two weeks, Cloud started seeing Sephiroth every few days. Sephiroth always had a reason for being in the same place as him, and Cloud rarely caught Sephiroth outright watching him. But he had little doubt that that was what Sephiroth was doing.

After he’d seen Sephiroth on a nearby building during a mission, the dread had really set in. He’d just so happened to be shooting at a flying monster in that direction. He would never have seen the man otherwise. Which begged the question of just how much was Sephiroth watching him?

Cloud felt like a target being tracked by a serial killer. A part of him still wanted to deny the whole thing. He could barely wrap his head around the fact that his now former idol, powerful Shinra general, and soulmate was stalking him, let alone that he was scared of the man. Another part of him hoped that some soulmate mumbo jumbo would kick in and make everything okay.

He felt more than ever that Sephiroth was dangerous. Cloud stubbornly held onto a shred of hope for the future, but decided to prepare for the worst.

The tension in the air was mounting. Every day that went by in which Sephiroth only watched him increased his sense of foreboding. He knew Sephiroth more from the press and rumours than anything, and when it came down to it, Cloud didn’t know what to expect from the actual man—only that this state of distant observation would not last.


	3. Special

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to those of you that left comments, feedback, and kudos. I find them all very encouraging, and I really appreciate it. Thank you to everyone else for reading. :)

Cloud was given an unexpected break from Sephiroth’s stalking when Genesis deserted with a group of other SOLDIERS. The rumor was that Sephiroth was so immersed in investigating Genesis’ disappearance that he’d gone so far as to shut himself in one of the records room a full day. The next time Cloud had a shift guarding his usual records door, he was so tense that even Maxt noticed despite their helmets.

He wondered if Sephiroth was always obsessive, though he supposed that discovering one’s soulmate and having many under your command desert were two pretty big events. Either way, Cloud was glad to have the general’s attention elsewhere.

With no immediate threat, he couldn’t stay on constant high alert. He knew he should avoid being alone when possible, but he was dead set on making SOLDIER and knew he needed to be stronger. So one day he stayed for an hour after everyone else had left the training room, fighting fake opponents. It left him alone in the group shower of the locker room afterwards.

Cloud took his time showering, enjoying the feel of hot water cascading over his tired muscles. Showering after practice on his own time was so much more satisfying than the rushed military showers of the morning.

A pleased humming noise startled him out of conditioning his hair. Cloud whipped around, stepping out from the falling water.

Sephiroth, fully clothed, leaned casually against the far tile wall. He looked somehow more tired than Cloud had ever seen him before, but he couldn’t pinpoint why. There were no bags under his eyes, and he looked as put together as ever.

“Hello, Cloud,” Sephiroth said.

“Sephiroth,” Cloud acknowledged carefully.

Sephiroth very obviously took in his wet, naked body.

Cloud flushed. It was ridiculous given the obvious danger, and Cloud wasn’t even shy about nudity, but Sephiroth’s gaze was an intense mixture of desire and calculation. He wanted to cover himself and flee, but he forced himself to stay standing straight, not wanting to reveal the depth of his discomfort and alarm as he assessed his options.

“Have you accepted your fate yet?” Sephiroth stood near the only exit, eliminating the possibility of escape.

“I never denied our soulmate bond, just proposed that we do it differently. This—” Cloud waved his arms at them. “It won’t work like this.”

“Oh, but it will,” Sephiroth said with smug certainty. He pushed off the wall and slowly advanced. “You just have to accept it.”

Cloud found himself involuntarily retreating, alarm spiking through his veins. He walked back into the warm, cascading water. His back collided with the shower knob, and Cloud hesitated.

“Don’t fight this, Cloud. Let me show you how good it can be.”

Cloud had started carrying a knife in his boot when Sephiroth had been actively watching him. It had helped him feel better—less helpless—but that was useless now, shut away in a locker with the rest of his clothes.

Water fell over his face as he slipped around the shower knob and his back pressed against the cold tile. He slid against the wall and stopped, not wanting to literally be backed into a corner. Sephiroth’s gaze never left Cloud’s as he changed his angle of approach to match Cloud’s retreat.

“Someone could walk in,” Cloud protested.

Sephiroth didn’t look concerned in the slightest. “They will not.”

Cloud’s eyes widened, and he tried to come up with some sort of rebuttal, not liking the certainty in Sephiroth’s voice.

“I appreciate your discretion, but there is no need to worry. I’ve taken care of it.”

Cloud tried to reign in his panic, but the reality of his situation was undeniable. Sephiroth was less than a meter away. They were alone and would likely remain that way. He was naked, and Sephiroth was ignoring his protests.

People in situations like this often ended up raped.

Cloud once again sized Sephiroth up, despite already knowing he had little chance in a fight. Sephiroth was tall and strong, walking towards him with supernatural grace. The general had every physical advantage. Which left Cloud with only one tool—surprise.

When Sephiroth stepped into range, Cloud struck as fast and suddenly as he could, sending his elbow towards Sephiroth’s temple. It was a move that could easily kill a normal person, and Cloud hoped it would stun the enhanced man long enough for him to get away.

But Sephiroth’s hand was suddenly in the way, catching Cloud’s elbow. Time stopped. Sephiroth’s eyes still hadn’t left his.

Cloud used his other hand in an attempted uppercut, but Sephiroth easily caught that too. Sephiroth slid his grip to Cloud’s wrists and pushed forward, caging him in.

He didn’t want to be caught—not like this. The world momentarily fell away into a haze and all that existed was him, Sephiroth, and the need to get away. Cloud kicked, writhed, and thrashed. At one point his hand was free and pushed against the exposed portion of Sephiroth’s chest. Then his arms were pinned fully above his head and he was squished between Sephiroth and the wall.

Sephiroth gripped his wrists tightly with one hand as the other fell gently to caress through his hair. “Shhhhh.”

Cloud stilled, more disturbed than comforted. Their bodies were slightly offset, with Sephiroth’s left leg lining up between his. His face was pressed into Sephiroth’s neck and strands of his long silver bangs stuck to his wet cheek. Cloud tried to breathe through his mouth, not wanting to experience Sephiroth’s pleasant smell, but he did anyway and with it, a hint of vanilla. The man’s presence was overwhelming, trapped as he was between Sephiroth’s warm body and the cold tile and feeling everything acutely through his nudity and the adrenaline. The shower still ran feet away, making the room humid.

Sephiroth shifted back and placed his free hand on Cloud’s chest. Cloud remained frozen. Sephiroth moved his hand slowly down, fingers splaying as he went. The leather glove glided over his wet skin, and they both watched the motion.

Sephiroth removed his hand from Cloud’s chest and brought it to his lips. Cloud watched, horrifyingly transfixed. Sephiroth bit the edge of his glove and pulled it off. His pale hand returned to Cloud’s chest. Sephiroth closed his eyes as his naked fingers danced between Cloud’s pecks.

Some choked sound came involuntarily from his mouth. Cloud flushed again as Sephiroth’s warm fingers trailed down to his abs. His fingers were gently calloused and left soft tingles in their wake.

“I have an enhanced sense of touch. With my gloves, the tests say I feel about what a normal man can, but without them…” Sephiroth inhaled deeply, and Cloud was thoroughly creeped out, but he couldn’t make himself move. “I feel so much more.”

Sephiroth traced the well defined line of his abs. “Your skin feels nice....”

The hand slid lower, and Cloud, voice barely more than a whisper said, “stop.”

Sephiroth blinked as if coming out of a trance and slowly smirked. His thumb followed the bottom muscle of Cloud’s abs, and he shivered. Sephiroth’s hand came to rest on his hip. “You’ll like it, Cloud.”

Sephiroth leaned in and captured Cloud’s lips in a kiss. His lips were soft and warm, moving much too tenderly for a man that was forcibly restraining him. Cloud kept his mouth firmly shut, and Sephiroth did not try to deepen the kiss.

Sephiroth’s eyes remained open and he watched Cloud. Cloud tried to move away, but Sephiroth held him tightly. Cloud found it hard to look away. Sephiroth’s bright green irises, slit pupils, and thick black eye lashes drew him in.

Sephiroth’s free hand squeezed his hip, then glided up his side and along his arm until it joined Sephiroth’s other arm. Sephiroth shifted his grip, so that his other hand was restraining him and his left hand was free. In what must have been an impressive display of dexterity that he couldn’t see, Sephiroth’s other glove came off, dropping to the ground by Cloud’s feet. Sephiroth’s free hand dropped to Cloud’s hair and gently carded through it once again.

Despite the length of their kiss, it was still gentle, and Cloud hated to admit it, but skilled. His lips felt...good. Sephiroth’s gaze held a hint of calculation that was slowly being overcome by lust the longer they continued.

Cloud closed his eyes and could feel Sephiroth’s lips curve upward into a smirk before he pulled back, like he’d won some battle of wills. Something fluttered in his stomach, and Sephiroth’s fresh-smelling breaths mixed with Cloud’s rapid breathing.

“Say yes,” Sephiroth murmured.

Cloud shook his head.

Sephiroth hummed consideringly, then ducked his head into the crook of Cloud’s neck. Cloud tried to shift away, but Sephiroth gripped his hair tightly and angled his head back.

Sephiroth’s breath against his skin nearly tickled and a moment later, Sephiroth placed a gentle kiss near the center of his neck. Cloud stiffened, trying to keep a firm control on his reactions. Sephiroth deepened his kiss, sucking more insistently and running the face of his teeth along Cloud’s skin.

Cloud’s neck had always been especially sensitive. He’d discovered it quite early in his sexual experimentation. He’d begged his partner to give it more attention, and had had to compromise since they hadn’t been especially turned on by his neck and ear.

Sephiroth bit down softly, just enough to cross the line between pleasure and pain. Cloud inhaled sharply. He could feel Sephiroth smirk again before his tongue spiraled over his bite, soothing the minor pain.

He continued to move up Cloud’s neck, alternating between bites, licking, and an impressive variety of skilled kisses. Cloud tried to control his breathing, not wanting to give Sephiroth the pleasure of knowing how affected he was, but by the time Sephiroth reached his pulse point, it was a losing battle.

His heart beat rapidly—it had to be due to his fear, right? Sephiroth’s pace of sucking and biting increased.

Before Cloud could help it, he was panting and squirming. Sephiroth rubbed his fully clothed pant leg against Cloud’s cock, which had mortifyingly started to harden. A belt caused firm friction against his length, while the soft leather behind it teased softly. A jolt of pleasure shot up his spine, and Cloud moaned miserably. It did not take him long to harden fully.

Cloud squeezed his eyes shut, not sure when they’d reopened. He was grateful that Sephiroth could not see his face, small mercy that it was. Why did something he didn’t want have to feel so good?

‘It’s physical’, he told himself. ‘Just physical.’

Sephiroth moved slowly up and down, further stimulating his cock. Under the complicated belt system of Sephiroth’s pants was an undeniable bulge. Cloud tried to wiggle away, and abruptly stopped when Sephiroth let out a breathy moan.

“Sephiroth,” Cloud tried, but it sounded all wrong—needy and aroused. “Stop.”

“You clearly like it. Why deny us this?”

It was hard to think straight as Sephiroth moved his lips further up his neck. Sephiroth nibbled his earlobe and Cloud gasped in pleasure—his loudest one yet. Sephiroth lavished his upper neck and earlobe with a degree of skill Cloud had never before experienced, all while stimulating his cock with gentle rubbing. Cloud lost all control of the sounds he was making.

It’s physical, he repeated to himself. Just physical.

Though there was also something quite attractive in the way Sephiroth was insisting on consent. Even though he was trapped naked against his will, Sephiroth was asking before going further. It made what should have been clear cut confusing. Cloud tried to shake his head.

“Say yes,” Sephiroth pressed again.

“No...I...Sephiroth…” Cloud’s breathless denial didn’t sound that convincing even to him, so he tried again. “No.”

Sephiroth sighed, releasing Cloud’s head and shifting and straightening up just enough so that he could see his full face. Sephiroth tilted his head thoughtfully. “Still no then…”

Despite the erection pushing into his hip, Sephiroth’s full power over Cloud, and the too intense way his eyes searched his face, Sephiroth remained in full control of his actions. That self control was comforting to a degree—and impressive—but Cloud still held his breath as Sephiroth debated his next move.

“You resist me again and again.” Sephiroth paused, clearly taking a moment to think before he focused again on Cloud. “Tell me, Cloud, how are you special?” 

The unexpectedness of the question shocked Cloud closer to rational thought, but he didn’t think he would have known how to respond even in normal circumstances.

“I looked at your records and there was nothing there, so I watched you. But I can not figure out what it is. You’re not extraordinary in any way I can see. So what is it? What am I missing?” Sephiroth’s pupils looked back and forth between Cloud’s eyes, searching.

Cloud let out a shaky breath. “What...what do you mean?”

“You must be special,” Sephiroth said. “Something beyond simple attractiveness.”

Sephiroth looked at him expectantly. Cloud racked his brain, but couldn’t think of anything impressive to say. The silence stretched, becoming more awkward with every passing second. When he couldn’t bear it any longer, he admitted, “I’m actually fairly normal.”

“There must be something,” Sephiroth pressed. “Don’t be modest.”

Cloud had no idea how to respond. “Uh...I’m pretty trusted for my rank.”

“Hmpf. That’s hardly extraordinary.”

“I don’t know what to say,” Cloud responded.

Sephiroth shifted closer to Cloud, the move sending both pain and pleasure to his cock, which had been mercifully softening. His back pressed uncomfortably against the tile wall and one of Sephiroth’s large belt buckles dug into his abdomen. Sephiroth didn’t seem to mind the pressure against his own still-hard cock. His breath was warm against Cloud’s forehead as he said, “you’re my soulmate. You can’t just be a regular person.”

Cloud looked away. His left cheek came to rest against cool ceramic.

“Maybe it’s a hidden potential.” Sephiroth drew back though he kept Cloud’s arms pinned above his head.

“Maybe you’re so great that I don’t have to be,” Cloud bit out sarcastically.

“Hmpf. No, I wouldn’t have a normal soulmate.”

Cloud laughed and it was tinged with hysteria.

“I’ve always wanted a soulmate,” Sephiroth continued, still speaking softly. “I dreamed about it, but you’re not what I thought you’d be….”

Cloud turned back to look at him. Sephiroth was staring at where his fingers rested in Cloud’s hair, a shadow over his face. Sephiroth shook his head.

“My soulmate should be more than just pretty…” Sephiroth trailed off, and Cloud wasn’t even sure that Sephiroth was still speaking to him.

Cloud let himself study the man and was again struck by how unique his eyes were. Sephiroth was special, leagues above Cloud in everything but social decency. Cloud hated that Sephiroth could make him feel like this—so inferior, like the bullied sixteen year old who had first joined Shinra.

He couldn’t fathom why Gaia would make him Sephiroth’s soulmate. In either direction.

“Am I even a full person to you?” Cloud asked before he realized he was speaking. “Or am I just some puzzle to be slotted into this pedestal concept you have of soulmates?”

In that moment, with a strange clarity, Cloud knew the later to be true. There was a moment of stillness, then Cloud gently tugged his arm downwards, in a silent plea for them to be released. To his surprise and relief, Sephiroth removed his hold. Cloud let his hands fall to his side.

“I don’t know. I didn’t expect my chase to lead to such...disappointment.”

Sephiroth’s words stung, though Cloud knew this could be a pivotal moment in their relationship. He tried to spell out what should be obvious. “I’m a full, complex, and real person. A normal human. One that won’t have sex with you after being ambushed like this.”

Sephiroth narrowed his eyes and frowned. His eyes roamed intently over Cloud’s face again. Then he turned decisively, his silver hair fanning out behind him. The tips, now slightly frizzed from the humidity, grazed Cloud’s wet thighs.

“That’s too bad,” Sephiroth said as he left.

Cloud took a couple deep breaths as he allowed himself a few moments still pressed against the wall. Then, as he walked back to his still-running shower, he stepped on one of Sephiroth’s discarded gloves. Not thinking about it, he picked them up, turned off the shower, and left quickly. He only paused to relish the weight of the knife in his boot as he got dressed.

As he walked through the long halls leading back to his barrack, he ran his free hand through his hair. The other held Sephiroth’s wet, discarded gloves.


	4. Scarce

Cloud tried to put Sephiroth out of his mind as he prepared for the SOLDIER test, but snippets of their latest interaction played on repeat without his permission—Sephiroth pressing him against the wall, kissing him, then leaving while saying “that’s too bad.” Had Sephiroth left because Cloud had said he wasn’t going to have sex with him or because Sephiroth had deemed him not ‘special’ enough?

He couldn’t stop pondering that absurd question—”how are you special?”—and the assumptions that must lie behind it.

Sephiroth was infuriating. He was entitled, forceful, and extremely arrogant.

Cloud didn’t know why, but he had kept the man’s gloves. He alternated between dreading and anticipating what might happen if Sephiroth came to retrieve them, but he never did.

Cloud wasn’t sure what he wanted less—to see Sephiroth again or to be left in this confusing state of limbo. He made sure to watch his back, but he didn’t see Sephiroth all week.

Then, Sephiroth was shipped off to Wutai, and Cloud found himself more relieved than anything. Cloud hoped the war would persist—at least until his exam, so he could focus. News came of Angeal’s desertion, and with only one first class SOLDIER left on the front lines, it seemed possible. He felt terrible about wishing for a war to continue, but he’d grown somewhat numb to all of Shinra’s fighting.

But Sephiroth finished the war swiftly and his fame grew worldwide. Despite him still being abroad, Midgar was plastered with his face and name. It was even worse in the military. SOLDIER was more desperate than ever for new recruits and was milking Sephiroth’s fame for all it was worth.

When the day came, Cloud was irritated to see that even the exam room for the written part of the SOLDIER test had a large poster of Sephiroth. The general was shown flying through the air, sword pointed aggressively in front of him and perfect hair fanning out behind him. He glared at the poster and tried to focus. Whose decision had it been to put that there? Surely it’d be more productive for a test room to be blank.

The time allotted passed too fast, and Cloud handed his test in with apprehension. He hadn’t had time to fill in the last few questions.

He did better on the combat test and probably well enough on the strength and stamina tests.

~

Two days later, he sat with a group of his fellow test takers in an out of the way bar on the plate. Everyone kept checking the time, all eagerly awaiting the email announcing if they would be accepted or rejected. They’d find out on the hour. Cloud’s gut clenched with anticipation and his drink sat untouched in front of him.

He tuned in and out of the conversation, too nervous to focus. He only listened again when one of his bunkmates brought Sephiroth up.

“I heard that Sephiroth practically threw a tantrum when he got the results. Kunsel texted me from Wutai saying that Sephiroth went nuts on a nearby enemy encampment. Kunsel ended up persuading everyone else to just stay out of the way and let him do his thing.”

“Really?” Another of Cloud’s bunkmates said with a snort. “The great general throwing a tantrum?”

“I know!” His bunk mate said, revelling in the gossip. “I’m not sure I’d believe it if it wasn’t Kunsel that told me. I’m just imagining a pouty faced Sephiroth raining disapproval from the sky.”

He was met by a round of laughter.

“We couldn’t have collectively done terribly enough to warrant that,” a cadet, named Shinila, said with a nervous laugh. “Right?”

“Maybe Sephiroth was expecting more new SOLDIERS or something,” a friendly team lead, named Ama said.

“But more people than ever took the test.”

“Yeah, but it’s hard to make up for all the deserters, and that has to be a major cause of stress.”

The clock chimed, cutting off Ama. There was a moment of heavy silence as everyone froze, looking at each other.

“It’s time,” Shinila said, eyes wide and fingers white from how tightly she gripped her PHS.

“Oh Gaia,” Ama said. “I can’t look.”

“Me neither,” the other woman replied.

Cloud had no such problem. Without even realizing that he had reached for it, his PHS was in his hand. He tapped the email notification and held his breath while it loaded.

He skimmed through the meaningless first paragraph filled with platitudes. His stomach sank as he read the first word of the second paragraph—”Unfortunately.”

Someone at the table hollered in delight. “I’m in.”

Cloud didn’t look up. He skimmed the rest of the email and reread that critical second paragraph. He’d been rejected. Again.

Ama laughed. “Me too. Oh Gaia, me too.”

A couple more people chimed in that they’d also been accepted, but the rest of the group stayed silent. Cloud continued to stare at his PHS screen. The new SOLDIER recruits were too excited to notice.

Tralli, a quiet man in his barracks, nudged him and raised an eyebrow. Cloud shook his head.

Tralli sighed and said, “me neither.”

The table fell into awkward silence. Tralli blushed and ducked his head into his beer, drinking deeply.

Ama looked at Cloud. He tried to remain stoic, and she tilted her head, trying to read him. “Cloud?”

“No,” Cloud whispered.

His voice couldn’t have carried across the table, but his meaning seemed to come across. He was met with looks of sadness, pity, and embarrassment.

Cloud stood abruptly. “I’m...uh...I’m going to go. I’m sorry...I just—”

“It’s fine, Cloud,” Shinila said.

“Congratulations,” Cloud said. He meant it—he really did—but it came out sounding forced.

“You’ll do better next time, Cloud,” a boisterous, young cadet said. He held up his mostly-empty glass of whiskey to Cloud, as if toasting him. “You’re so good with a sword, they’ll have to take you.”

Cloud didn’t bother to point out that this was his last opportunity to take the test. He nodded at the boy—his name was Roche maybe? He was pretty sure that he was the one who had hollered in delight, though he could scarcely believe that the boy had made SOLDIER on his first try. Clueless and probably thinking that he’d helped, Roche turned back to the group and downed the rest of his drink.

He held his face neutral as he left. When the bar door swung shut behind him, he let out a choked sob. He took a deep breath of the cold night air and took the long way back to the barracks.

~

When Sephiroth returned to Midgar, Cloud did his best to avoid him. He traded favors with Maxt to get out of the victory march. He skipped the speeches. Cloud hoped that Sephiroth was focused enough on Genesis and Angeal—or really, anything other than him—and that by staying out of sight, he wouldn’t catch Sephiroth’s attention again.

Cloud started signing up for off-base missions. It turned out to be really good for him. Not only was he away from Sephiroth and SOLDIER, but he got to travel and hone some skills that had been atrophying during his long stay in the city.

He’d fallen into a funk after failing the SOLDIER exam, and this was exactly what he needed. Being away and travelling kept him busy and his mind occupied better than anything in Midgar could.

Sephiroth let him be, and they didn’t run into each other by chance. Months passed, and Cloud could scarcely believe how well his avoidance plan had worked.

Until Modeoheim. It started as a high clearance mission without Sephiroth. He was with a small group, including a newly promoted first class SOLDIER and a high ranking Turk, named Tseng.

The mission began terribly, with their helicopter crash landing in the icy mountains near Modeoheim. But it started looking up on the trek to Modeoheim. Cloud had gotten to know the SOLDIER, another country boy, named Zack.

Despite being a much higher rank than him and having just met, conversation flowed smoothly and joyously. It made the cold journey through the snow surprisingly great.

By the time they engaged with the mission, Cloud was enthusiastic to help Zack however he could. Unfortunately, they were quickly separated as Cloud fruitlessly chased some old scientist.

When they met up again, Zack had just been forced to kill his old mentor, Angeal. Cloud sat with him as he mourned. Tseng came and went as he oversaw the remainder of the operation. More Shinra personnel showed up, but they let them be.

Eventually, Zack pulled back. Cloud gripped his hand tightly for a moment before letting go.

Zack looked over Cloud’s shoulder and straightened. “Sephiroth.”

Cloud jumped and spun around. Sure enough, Sephiroth was there. He towered over them with his arms crossed, frowning at them. Cloud’s breath caught in his throat.

Sephiroth nodded a greeting a second too late to be natural.

Zack slumped again. “Seph...I’m sorry. Angeal…Angeal is—”

“I know,” Sephiroth cut in with an undercurrent of true sadness. Somehow, it wasn’t an emotion Cloud had expected to see from him.

Zack looked miserable. “I...I’m so—”

“Don’t apologize for that which is not your fault.”

Zack sighed and looked down, bringing his hands up to clutch his spiky clack hair. Cloud put a hand comfortingly on his new friend’s shoulder.

He met Sephiroth’s eyes and his heart leapt into his throat. A very tense moment passed as they studied each other.

Zack shook his head. Sephiroth looked consideringly back and forth between them. Cloud squeezed Zack’s shoulder protectively as he continued to stare at Sephiroth. He willed Sephiroth to not be an asshole.

Sephiroth frowned at him and said, “I’ve been sent to investigate the mako mines. Zack, accompany me.”

Zack’s fingers tightened in his hair.

“Fighting monsters would do you some good.”

Cloud observed in silence. Sephiroth was being...nice? Not an asshole?

Zack didn’t seem surprised. His lip quirked upwards, and Cloud thought it had to be the saddest smile he had ever seen. “Yeah, you’re probably right,”

Zack stood up and approached the buster sword. His hand hovered in the air hesitantly before he grabbed it and held it in front of him. He placed his forehead on the base of the blade. He whispered something, then hefted the sword onto his back like it weighed nothing. Zack forced a smile.

“Ready?” Sephiroth asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Yeah.” Zack looked at Cloud. “Hold down the fort for us, okay buddy?”

Cloud forced a smile too. “Yes, sir.”

“Don’t call me sir!” Zack replied, not for the first time that day.

As they left, Sephiroth sent him a piercing look that promised more later. Cloud nodded, just relieved that Sephiroth had decided to let it wait until Zack was more okay, or at least, not around.

Cloud checked in with a superior officer to see if there was more work to be done, but was given the rest of the night off to rest along with the other infantryman he’d crash landed with. He found a window on an upper floor and just looked at the surrounding mountains. People were coming and going around him, but Cloud tuned their conversations out. He hadn’t had much time in a place as similar to home as Modeoheim in a while.

The snow picked up, falling in fat white flakes. Cloud watched what he could of the sky as it darkened fully.

His PHS buzzed with an alert that the extraction of all personnel in Modeoheim was being delayed until the following day. Cloud grimaced, immediately realizing that this meant he would be staying the night in the same warehouse as Sephiroth….

He didn’t know what he’d do when he ran into him again, but there didn’t seem to be any point in delaying the inevitable. He’d already spent too many hours tangling himself in knots thinking about Sephiroth. Cloud walked down to the main floor.

People were scurrying around, making last minute arrangements for their accommodations. Sephiroth was easy to spot across the room, standing alone facing the fire. His tall form cut an imposing figure in front of the flames, and Cloud was reminded of the incredible power that this man held.

Sephiroth turned around slowly. His gaze swept around the room before locking onto Cloud. Cloud froze, and they stared at each other. Sephiroth’s face was carefully blank. Then he tilted his head towards the door and strode outside.

Cloud blinked. Was that an invitation to meet? A command to follow?

He looked around. No one seemed to have noticed their brief interaction. He bit his lip, looking at the door swinging shut behind Sephiroth.

Following Sephiroth alone into a blizzard at night couldn’t be a good idea.

Cloud stood anyways and put on all the clothing he had with him. He didn’t hesitate as much as he probably should have. He left the comfortable warmth of the indoors wondering how much his self-preservation instinct had waned.

The snow had picked up even more, large flakes falling to the ground. He could scarcely make out the lights from the nearby buildings. There were several sets of footprints, leading off in every direction. They all looked more or less the same—Shinra standard issue boots. But Sephiroth’s boots were definitely cooler than most. Cloud squinted, trying to differentiate the trails.

It occurred to him again that he was probably being very stupid.

He shook it off, deciding on a track leading towards the mako mine. He followed it slowly, having to squint to see in the poor lighting. The porch light of the warehouse faded behind him, and Cloud considered turning back. He could hardly see.

“Cloud.”

Cloud jumped. The smooth, deep voice was undeniably Sephiroth’s.

He looked towards the source of the sound, but there was only darkness and snow. He rapidly scanned the area, but even the ground was barely visible.

“Here.” A small flame burst into existence several meters in front of him, floating in Sephiroth’s outstretched hand.

“Sephiroth…”

They stared at each other. Sephiroth was rigid, face blank. Cloud swallowed, feeling like he had something stuck in his throat.

The silence stretched.

Sephiroth’s unwavering and eerie gaze reflected the light of the small flame. The light created a small pocket of visibility that only encompassed them and the falling snow. It was almost like he and Sephiroth stood alone in a dark, expansive void.

Cloud shivered, already cold from the harsh night. He was simply not equipped for this kind of weather. He’d wondered earlier, during the walk to Modeoheim if he’d freeze, and that had been during the day. Zack and Tseng had had to keep them all moving to ward off the chill. It was a small mercy that it wasn’t windy here like it had been up on the ridge.

Cloud’s anxiety grew with every passing moment. There was simultaneously nothing and way too much to say. Why had he even come?

“You can’t even see a few meters…”

Cloud sighed, trying to exhale some of his tension. “Why are we out here?”

“That’s a good question, Cloud.”

Cloud frowned. He was too cold for whatever mind game Sephiroth was trying to play.

Sephiroth didn’t seem to share his discomfort, and remained stonely impassive. Thick white snowflakes stood out as they stuck to his long black coat.

“What do you want, Sephiroth?”

Sephiroth tilted his head slightly to the side, as if considering it. “What do I want…? I want a strong soulmate.”

Cloud opened his mouth as if to say something, then closed it.

Sephiroth remained impassive. Neither his arm or spell wavered as he continued to hold the flame perfectly in place. It was a casual, impressive show of might.

“What do you mean?” Cloud asked, even though he was pretty sure he knew.

Sephiroth didn’t answer immediately. Cloud’s unprotected ears were starting to go numb. He did his best to ignore it.

“You’re weak, Cloud.”

Cloud grimmaced and his heart ached. Gaia, did he know that.

“I don’t understand how you are my soulmate.”

“I don’t either…. Maybe it’ll make sense later?”

Sephiroth’s face finally showed some emotion—a sharpening of his eyes—and bitterness leaked into his voice. “You said before that we should take some time and space and worry about being soulmates later…after you made SOLDIER.”

His bunkmate’s gossip flashed through his mind, of Sephiroth wreaking havoc in Wutai after receiving the SOLDIER test results. Cloud shifted away.

Sephiroth took a fluid step forward. His eyes were bright in a sort of angry focus. “But you didn’t make SOLDIER. You took the test at every possible opportunity. And failed. Every. Single. Time.”

Cloud’s heart sped up, and he unconsciously shifted away.

Sephiroth followed with deliberate steps. “And now you never will.”

His mind screamed danger and Cloud wanted to run, but knew he only could if Sephiroth let him. A surge of something like hatred rose in him, for how vulnerable and weak Sephiroth continuously made him feel.

He wanted to be strong. He felt the familiar weight of his standard-issue sword and the knife he still kept hidden in his boot.

“Getting into SOLDIER isn’t even a high bar.” Anger was clearly audible in Sephiroth’s voice now.

A shudder ran through Cloud. He grit his teeth, forcing himself to stand his ground.

Sephiroth continued to advance. “How is it that you—my soulmate—is so weak?”

This situation was dangerously close to spiralling out of control. He had to do something, and fast. ‘Words’, he thought. ‘Words are my best weapon.’

But before he could say anything, Sephiroth’s arm flicked to the side and the flame disappeared.

“You can’t even protect yourself.” Sephiroth’s voice came from his right. Cloud hadn’t heard him move. ”I could take what I want from you, and you wouldn’t even be able to slow me down.”

Cloud’s hand instinctively grabbed his sword and he pulled it out of its sheath. There was a clang of metal against metal and his sword flew away, landing with a soft thud in the fresh snow.

Sephiroth laughed incredulously. “You dare draw a sword against me?”

Cloud spun around, trying to pinpoint Sephiroth’s location. His whole body was shivering.

There was a blur of motion and Sephiroth was upon him, grabbing his face tight enough to bruise. Even as close as they were, Cloud cloud barely see more than his silhouette and the long hair falling around him. Sephiroth leaned in and kissed him hard.

Cloud gasped as Sephiroth bit his bottom lip hard enough to bleed. He tasted his own coppery blood. Cloud mustered all of his strength and shoved. It was just enough to dislodge Sephiroth’s mouth. “What the fuck?”

Sephiroth’s grip on his face tightened, then he pulled away and pushed. Cloud fell onto his back in the snow. He grunted and went to sit up, but Sephiroth stood over him, one foot on either side of his hips and the long shape of masamune in his hand.

“Don’t,” Sephiroth said, voice deadly. Cloud couldn’t help but freeze as the vulnerability of the position struck him.

There was a heavy silence.

Cloud desperately wished he could read Sephiroth’s expression. He considered the knife in his boot and immediately discarded it as useless. Words. Words were his best weapon.

He licked his lips and hoped for the best. “Sephiroth…there doesn’t have to be anything between us. You can find someone...better suited to you than me.”

“But you’re my soulmate,” Sephiroth said with bitterness so different from the confusion he had said it with in their first interaction.

Cloud swallowed despite the dryness of his throat. “That doesn’t have to mean anything.”

“It’s fate.”

“We can make our own fate.” Cloud stared up at Sephiroth’s face as meaningfully as he could.

“Fate is not to be taken lightly.”

That was a far cry from fate being inevitable.

“Let’s try,” Cloud said. He wondered if flattery would help and added, “if anyone can defy destiny, it’s you.”

Sephiroth stilled, then threw back his head and laughed.

“I suppose you’re right, Cloud,” Sephiroth said. Cloud got the impression that the admission meant more to Sephiroth than he knew. Sephiroth stepped away to stop straddling him and faced into the distance.

Cloud struggled to read Sephiroth’s body language. There was something about it that seemed...menacing.

“I suggest you make yourself scarce then.”

Cloud pushed himself up.

“And Cloud, you’d be best off if you stay silent on this matter. You cannot protect yourself from all who would harm my soulmate, and I won’t be there to do it for you.”

Cloud grunted in acknowledgement. He winced at the thought of leaving his sword, but decided it wasn’t worth hanging around to find it. He fled.

Of all the possible interactions he could’ve had with Sephiroth, he’d never imagined anything like this. This was...a breakup? Kind of?

He should feel relieved. He’d wanted this, right? He’d be safe from Sephiroth now or at least...safer.

But still, to have his soulmate reject him so cruelly hurt. Sephiroth was right that he was weak, and he hated it.

Not that Sephiroth had any right to be so personally offended about that.

He didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. He ended up drinking with Zack.

He stopped to look in a mirror and saw that bruises were starting to form but weren’t yet distinct enough to be from a hand. Cloud asked Zack to heal him, claiming he’d tripped in the snow. It was a dumb excuse, but Zack just believed him. He had clamped him on the back and done it effortlessly, even joking that he’d gotten lost in blizzards more times than he cared to admit. His heart warmed at the trust, but his stomach clenched with the guilt of lying.

They ended up by the fire, pretending to be fine. They joked about how strange Midgar was compared to life in the country. Zack didn’t mention Angeal, and Cloud avoided any discussion of SOLDIER. They laughed, and Cloud knew that this was the start of a special type of friendship.


	5. Plan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, thank you so much for all the kudos and comments. Sorry I don’t reply to many of them. It’s hard for me to use a computer screen for long, and I tend to end up really motivated to write after reading your comments. <3
> 
> Nibelheim is portrayed a little differently in each different game it appears in, so I did my best, but it’s a mash up that doesn’t directly match any of them. A lot happens here, so I’ve split Nibelheim into three chapters. The next one is mostly written, so I should be able to get that up pretty soon. It’ll get heated ;)

A year passed.

Cloud continued to travel, taking off-base missions as he could. He’d hang out with Zack whenever he could. He didn’t completely come to peace with his failure to make SOLDIER, but he didn’t let it get in the way of his friendships, and he built himself an okay life.

He saw Sephiroth a couple times at Zack’s larger gatherings. Sephiroth never approached him, but Cloud caught him watching more than once. There was a possessive glint in his eyes that made Cloud think Sephiroth hadn’t moved on after Modeoheim.

It was just enough to keep him on edge.

He didn’t date. He was a bit paranoid at how Sephiroth might react—jealous Sephiroth was a terrifying thought—but more than that, he never noticed a spark with anyone else.

There were plenty of attractive men and women within SOLDIER and the higher ranks—people who were stronger than Cloud—but he didn’t see Sephiroth date anyone either. He could have missed it since Sephiroth certainly knew how to keep his private life to himself, but he didn’t think so.

Their avoidance ended when Cloud was placed on a small, high-priority mission.

In his initial briefing, he’d been told nothing but to gather two other ranking infantrymen and to report to the SOLDIER floor. It wasn’t unusual for Shinra to be sparse on information. He ran into Zack first, as he was making preparations. With a large smile and pat on the back, he had assumed the best for the mission.

Then, when everyone was ready to depart, the two infantrymen straightened and saluted. Cloud followed suit before following their gazes. Sephiroth approached with a carefully controlled expression and his usual deadly grace.

Cloud frantically looked to Zack, but he was unsurprised by the general’s appearance.

As the lead infantryman of the mission, Cloud wasn’t required to wear a helmet. On such missions, he’d usually go back and forth wearing it, depending on how advantageous it was to stand out as the lead or blend in as one of the ranks. Now, he regretted his most recent decision to forgo his helmet.

Zack faced Sephiroth and asked, “by the way, where are we going?”

Sephiroth glanced at Zack before looking back at Cloud and answering, “to Nibelheim.”

Cloud’s mouth fell open, and his brain short circuited. He hadn’t even heard the briefing yet, but he was certain that this was going to be too much to deal with for one mission.

It didn’t take long for them to depart. One of the infantrymen took the wheel, driving their large truck. The only road to Nibelheim was rough and before long, Cloud was hopelessly motionsick. He sat hunched over on a cargo box, feeling every bump as he tried not to throw up. Sephiroth leaned against the far wall, Zack paced around, and the other infantryman faded into the background.

A few hours into the journey, it started pouring, and the driver slowed down. Zack broke the silence, looking consideringly at Sephiroth and him. “So, what’s going on between you two?”

Cloud sat up as much as he could. Sephiroth and he had barely exchanged two words—surely not enough to let on that they even knew each other. But Zack was giving them a knowing look. Cloud exchanged a glance with Sephiroth, who was frowning.

Sephiroth stared at Cloud, face carefully blank, as he said, “nothing.”

Zack scoffed and turned to Cloud. He swallowed before nodding in agreement.

“Oh, come on! I know you both well enough to know that’s complete crap.”

Sephiroth humfed. The other infantryman in the back watched curiously, and the driver perked up, clearly listening in. Cloud bit his lip.

“You,” Zack said, waving his arm towards Cloud, “have barely even glanced at Sephiroth this whole trip. You always observe the SOLDIERs we hang around, which I get and don’t mind, but your admiration isn’t very subtle.”

Cloud blushed. He started to stutter a reply, but Zack cut him off.

“And you,” he said, pointing at Sephiroth, who was narrowing his eyes at Cloud, “are tenser than if you were at a medical check up.”

Sephiroth blinked, surprise showing on his face.

Cloud fiddled with the fabric of his shirt. He subconsciously pulled his sleeve lower to further cover the wrist his soulmark was on. He felt bad keeping everything about his relationship with Sephiroth a secret. Zack was one of the few people he trusted completely, and he wanted to talk to him, but he didn’t want to burden his friend with the whole mess.

“So what is it?”

“It’s nothing,” Sephiroth said with the full force of his rank. He crossed his arms.

Zack groaned and looked back and forth between his two friends. Cloud remained silent. Zack waved his arms in frustration. “You’re both my friends, and I want to help.”

Sephiroth narrowed his eyes at Zack in a way that sent a chill down Cloud’s spine. “Settle down, Zack.”

“Yes, sir,” Zack mumbled. If Sephiroth’s words held an underlying threat, Zack didn’t seem worried by it. He took to doing squats, dropping the subject.

Before long the rain lightened, and the driver sped back up. Cloud clutched his stomach as his nausea picked up again.

It was a miserable and tense ride with a monster fight towards the end, but Zack made it bearable. After the tension of their last conversation passed, he smiled, trying to improve the mood, and separately drew everyone into safe conversations. He excitedly did more squats as he talked about the new materia he’d been given.

When they arrived at Nibelheim, Cloud donned his helmet. He’d spent half the ride debating on wearing it, but in the end, he just didn’t want to deal with all the townspeople judging his failures. Nonetheless, he was happy to breathe the familiar mountain air and be home.

Zack grinned at Cloud as they passed through the gate. Sephiroth paused, looking oddly nostalgic. He glanced at Cloud and followed Zack silently. Some villagers stopped to talk to them, but Cloud was able to blend anonymously into the background.

After they all checked into the inn, Cloud snuck off to visit his mom.

It took her a moment to recognize him when she answered the door, but as soon as he said, “Ma,” she flung the door wide open and captured him in a choking embrace that could have rivaled Sephiroth’s in strength and speed.

“Cloud,” she said, her eyes glittering. “Oh Cloud.”

“Ma…” Cloud said, wrapping his arms around her. “Let’s go inside.”

His mom gripped him tighter for a moment, then relented after he made a choked sound. She followed Cloud in. He shut the door and removed his helmet.

“Cloud,” she repeated. She looked him up and down. “I’m so happy to see you. You’re so tall now! And strong—wow, just look at these muscles!”

His mom, Claudia Strife, was nearly a head shorter than him now. She wore a practical wool dress with her blonde hair in a ponytail.

“You’ve grown into such a handsome man. I bet you’re really popular with the ladies.”

Cloud blushed and looked away. “Well, with the men actually.”

He hadn’t wanted to tell his mom in a letter that he was gay, but now he held his breath, not able to meet her eyes. But there was only a beat of silence before his mom was speaking again. “Men? Cloud, that’s okay! Oh, have you been worried about my reaction this whole time?”

Cloud’s heart swelled. “Ma…”

“Oh, I wondered why you wouldn’t talk about your love life, but that’s okay. I didn’t want to pry.”

Cloud smiled and quietly said, “thank you.”

His mom smiled back, and it was the warmest smile he’d seen in years. “There’s nothing that could make me love you any less.”

She drew him into another embrace. After she didn’t let go for several moments, Cloud wiggled out of her grasp. She let him step back and she admired his uniform. “Is this your SOLDIER uniform?”

Cloud faltered. His mom’s eyes crinkled with worry, and he confessed his failures.

Her unhesitating and loving acceptance of him lasted even as he explained to her that he hadn’t made it into SOLDIER despite applying at every possible opportunity. She hugged him as tears filled his eyes, and he recounted his shames and struggles.

After a comfortable silence descended, his mom poked him in the side. “How about we have some dinner? You’ve got some muscle, but you’re still far too lean. Are they feeding you enough?”

Cloud laughed. “Yeah, but the food isn’t anywhere near as good as yours.”

“Oh, Cloud. You flatter me.”

They went into the kitchen, and his mom began the preparations for one of his favorites, wolf stew. She refused all of Cloud’s attempts to help. Cloud eventually surrendered and sat on a nearby stool.

“So, Cloud, is there a special man in your life?”

When he didn’t respond immediately, his mom looked up from the pot, studying his face.

“Cloud?”

He sighed. No one seemed to understand the possible shittiness of soulmates like her, so he decided to finally open up about Sephiroth. “I met my soulmate, but it’s...complicated.”

“How so? Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. It’s…” Cloud shook his head, and rolled up his sleeve. He picked at his band aid covering until one side came loose, and he could show her the name underneath.

His mom came over and gently took his arm. She squinted down at it, struggling to take in the small text. Her mouth dropped open. “Sephiroth? Like _the_ Sephiroth?”

Cloud nodded.

“Like the Sephiroth you have a poster of hanging in your bedroom?”

Cloud blushed and coughed, having put that decoration out of his mind long ago. “You kept it?”

His mom put her hands on her hips. “Of course I kept it. Your whole room is still here for you.”

Cloud shook his head, mortified. “But you could have used that space.”

“And I did use that space. For you. Now tell me, Cloud, what happened?”

So he told her. He recounted everything. He told it haltingly, and sometimes out of order, but his mom waited patiently, letting him tell his story and talk through it all. By the time he was finished, they sat together with empty bowls of wolf stew in front of them.

“Gaia, I hate all the nonsense people believe about soulmates. I’m sorry Sephiroth buys into that illogical, supernatural crap.”

“Thanks, Ma.” Cloud smiled weakly. She put her hand on top of his and squeezed gently. “I just feel so confused.”

“That’s okay, honey. It’s natural to feel that way.”

Cloud chuckled. “I know your opinion on what to do with soulmates—check them out, and if you don’t like what you see, chuck them out.”

His mom nodded. “But, in this case, I think it’s too soon to write him off.”

Cloud blinked. “What?”

“Oh, don’t get me wrong. I’m wary of Sephiroth too. He may very well be bad news, but the thing is, I’ve never heard you talk about anyone like this before.”

“You think I should give Sephiroth a chance? Even if I wanted to, he’s not about to do the same.”

Cloud’s mom shrugged. “Maybe, and I’m not saying you should give him a free pass for his shitty behaviour, but I think you’ve had the right instinct all along—that you should wait and not force anything. Sephiroth is what—in his early twenties? He’s young and immature.”

“He’s my age. Besides, I’ve known teenagers with more emotional intelligence than him,” Cloud said flatly.

“Yes, but you have to keep in mind who we’re talking about.”

“ _The_ Sephiroth,” Cloud said sarcastically. “The extraordinary war hero, admired by all.”

“A child soldier. Think Cloud, he was already a famous SOLDIER when you were still a teenager. He must have been raised in the military life, fighting and training instead of playing. He wouldn’t have had the chance to socialize properly. Has he ever even been close to a civilian?”

Cloud sighed. “Ma, sometimes I think you have too much empathy.”

She laughed. “Empathy is a super power. But again, don’t get me wrong. I’m not excusing Sephiroth’s actions toward you. I’m just saying he could grow. And if you’re right that he’s still watching you and you’re still interested, then you’ll probably end up in each other’s orbits again. You should be ready for that.”

A strange mix of apprehension and hope blossomed in his belly. Cloud couldn’t deny that his mom had a point.

She fixed him with a stern look. “But you should also have a plan to get out if things get worse. You’re right—Sephiroth has the potential to be dangerous, and some of the behavior he’s displayed are red flags for an abusive relationship.”

He nodded. “But if it does go sour, what could I even do? He’s _Sephiroth_ , and Shinra practically owns the world now.”

“You could leave. Come home. You’re always welcome here, and it’d be nice to have you back. You could join Master Zhangan and help teach the kids to fight.”

Cloud shook his head and frowned. “If it got bad enough that I had to run, I wouldn’t be safe here.”

His mom sighed, and she ran a hand along her tied back hair. “You’re probably right...”

They fell into silence for a few minutes. Cloud imagined it—a life on the run from Shinra all because of an obsessive soulmate. He shuddered. But then he also imagined a life in which nothing happened and Sephiroth continued to look upon him with disdain, and his heart ached. “I don’t want this. I don’t want any of this.”

“You can stay apart, and maybe you should. You have a choice, Cloud. You have free will. All fate can do is try to influence you and Sephiroth, but ultimately, it’s up to you two.”

“I know, but I don’t even know what I want.” He sighed and rubbed his temple, suddenly feeling the fatigue of his long day.

“I know you’ll figure it out.” His mom gently squeezed his hand again.

“I should get back,” Cloud said. He stood and grabbed their bowls, taking them to the sink. “We have to leave early tomorrow for the reactor.”

“Will I get to see you again?”

“Yeah. I don't know how long we’ll be in Nibelheim, but we won’t leave for Midgar the same day we trek up the mountain, so I’ll come by tomorrow as soon as I can get away.”

“Good.” His mom smiled and embraced him. After a long moment she pulled back and looked at him sternly. “And about Sephiroth...please, whatever you decide to do, please prioritize your safety. I do think he’ll mature well, but just in case you end up in an abusive relationship, I want you to have a good exit plan. You see, when an abuser doesn’t think they can control their victim anymore, they often turn to violence, and that violence can be lethal.”


	6. Monster

He didn’t get nearly enough sleep before they started off towards the reactor at dawn. The decision to remain an anonymous trooper made the trek simpler.

Even though he didn’t interact with her, it was nice to see Tifa again. She was a great guide and energetic in her actions—full of life and her same old adventurous spirit. She was openly curious, asking questions Cloud wouldn’t have as they came across Mako crystals.

The mission itself was rough, but he hid away behind the safety of his helmet. He stayed silent the whole time. No one commented on it, though he did get the occasional looks from Zack and Sephiroth.

After they returned to the inn, everyone went their separate ways. Zack and the remaining infantryman went to the bar, Tifa home, and Sephiroth disappeared. He did not return all night.

When Cloud asked later the next day, Zack told him that Sephiroth had holed up in the old Shinra mansion and wanted to be left alone.

At first, Cloud wondered if he was avoiding him. But the lights in the Shinra mansion stayed on all night and then again the next. Whatever Sephiroth was doing in there, he was doing it with a sleepless obsession.

When Sephiroth did not emerge the following day either, he started to worry. Zack checked on him and assured Cloud that he was fine, but as Zack did so, his voice was strained and his smile forced.

On the sixth day, Cloud’s concern overcame his apprehension about being near the man. He wasn’t sure he agreed with her, but the fact that his mom thought they could have a chance, gave him some hope for the future.

“Sephiroth was insistent that he be left alone,” Zack said when Cloud mentioned wanting to check on him.

“It’s been days since then. Has Sephiroth even slept or eaten anything?” Cloud sat on the edge of his bed in the inn, leaning towards Zack, who was standing by the window.

“I don’t know, but he’s done stuff like this before. Us SOLDIERS can go longer without food and sleep...and Sephiroth...sometimes he forgets to take care of himself.”

“But six days? You can go six days without food or sleep?”

“Me?” Zack rubbed a hand through his hair. “No, but I haven’t really tried. I get pretty irritable after just a few...but Sephiroth is tough. And he says he’s different.”

Cloud tilted his head. Zack met his eyes, then walked toward the door, starting to pace.

“In the reactor, he said he had exponentially more Mako than normal SOLDIERs. He even went so far as to imply he wasn’t entirely human—that he was made by Shinra as part of the Jenova project.”

“Made? What does that mean?”

Zack shook his head. “I don’t know, but there were Mako tubes full of humanoid monsters in there. He was pretty torn up about it, thinking that maybe he was like those monsters…. I tried to talk to him when I checked on him in the library, but he just insisted he wanted to be left alone.”

Cloud sat in silence as Zack continued to pace with agitated steps. He couldn’t deny that Sephiroth was different. He’d admired many of those traits, except for the very human emotional flaws.

“So,” Cloud said after Zack had walked the length of the room a couple times. “The short version is that Sephiroth is not okay.”

Zack sighed. “I don’t know, man.”

“Has he ever disappeared for this long before?”

Zack shook his head.

“I want to check on him.” When Zack looked ready to protest again, Cloud added, “I’ll bring him food. If he really doesn’t want the company, I’ll just drop it off and leave.”

Zack took a moment to think, and stopped pacing as something seemed to occur to him. “I suppose that’ll work. Alright, I’ll tell you how to get into the basement, but first, you have to tell me what’s going on between you two.”

Cloud exhaled deeply. His eyes traced the cracks on the ceilings like he had been doing so often lately while he struggled with insomnia.

The bed shook as Zack flopped down next to him. “Cloud?”

Cloud sighed and fiddled with the sleeve of his uniform. Zack’s eyes followed the motion, but he didn’t say anything.

“...it’s nothing.”

“It is  _ not _ nothing.”

Cloud sighed and shook his head. “Fine. You’re right, but it doesn’t mean I can’t check on him. Please, Zack? I just...I don’t want to talk about it.”

Zack groaned. “Alright, but you’re gonna tell me later.”

Cloud shook his head, and Zack pouted.

But instead of protesting, he asked, “do you want me to come with you?”

Cloud imagined it, and the way him and Sephiroth would try to hide their...whatever they had. “No. I think it’ll be better if I go alone….”

Zack shot him a skeptical look.

“But if I’m not back in a couple hours, can you come check on me?”

“Cloud! Tell me what’s going on. I can’t help if I don’t know.”

“No, it’s fine. Don’t worry. Please, Zack?”

Zack groaned, but after a little more begging, he relented and explained how to get into the basement.

~

That evening, Cloud went. In a way, it reminded him of Modeoheim—walking towards what could only be a difficult interaction.

He took the food his mom had sent to the inn for him and Zack. Zack ordered some potato skins and whiskey from the bar and sent it with him, explaining that Sephiroth was fond of it.

Cloud left his helmet at the top of the stairs. He descended with loud footsteps, not wanting to catch Sephiroth off guard. Cloud didn’t think that was possible, but he had no idea how six days of sleep deprivation would affect him.

Cloud found him in a round room full of books. Sephiroth stood by a desk holding a large leather-bound tome. He made no move to acknowledge Cloud’s presence.

Cloud shuffled, his arm straining from balancing the carefully stacked food.

Sephiroth looked good for someone who hadn’t slept for so long. His hair was maybe a bit frizzier, and his cheeks were flushed, but he otherwise looked fairly normal. 

Sephiroth glanced up before returning his attention to the book in his hands. Cloud hesitated. There was something off about the way Sephiroth stood. He squinted, trying to figure out what it was.

“Leave.” The word was curt and loud in the quiet library.

Cloud didn’t move. “I’ve brought you some food.”

Sephiroth shot him an unimpressed look.

He forced himself to sound as casual as he could. “Zack said you like potato skins and whiskey, and my mom made her specialty—Nibel wolf stew.”

With cautious steps, he approached the opposite side of the desk from Sephiroth. His hands shook a little as he set the food down. Cloud hoped that Sephiroth didn’t notice.

Sephiroth set his book down, still open. He considered the food. “Wolf stew?”

Cloud blushed and nodded. It was a very backwater food. There wasn’t wolf anything in Midgar, except maybe some ‘exotic’ furrs. “It’s pretty popular here, and my mom makes it really well.”

He spread out the food, pulling some utensils out of his pocket. He’d brought a set for himself too, just in case he could manage to stay long enough.

Sephiroth hummed noncommittally. He gestured toward the book he’d been reading. “I almost have it all figured out.”

“Have what figured out?”

“Myself.” Sephiroth said consideringly, then he looked at Cloud with an unsettling smirk. “You’ve always looked at me with fear, but what would you do, Cloud, if you knew I was a monster?”

Cloud’s unease grew, but he remembered what Zack had said about Sephiroth’s inner conflict, so he immediately denied the claim. “You’re not a monster.” At Sephiroth’s raised eyebrow, he decided to add some blunt truth in the hopes that it’d make his honesty more transparent. “You’re an entitled bastard sometimes, sure, but not a monster.”

Sephiroth laughed. “‘Monster’ is just a label humans use to describe something different from them, something that they would destroy if they could. I  _ am _ different—special—but I’m superior to humans. It doesn’t matter if I’m a monster because humans couldn’t do anything to stop me.”

“Sephiroth…” Cloud’s mouth felt dry, and he raised a tentative hand, but then it fell awkwardly to the desk.

Cloud swallowed, and said as gently as he could, “you’re not a monster to me.”

His words did not have the soothing effect he had hoped for.

Sephiroth glared at him with sudden heat. “Why are you here?”

“I’m worried about you.” Cloud gestured at the food. Suddenly, the sealed containers felt like a shield—a flimsy, but welcome scrap of protection.

“You’ve never sought me out before.” Sephiroth took a few steps around the desk towards Cloud.

“You’ve been down here for six days. I care—”

“Do you?” Sephiroth’s voice was heavy with disdainful disbelief.

Then it clicked, and his anger flared to life before he could process the realization. Sephiroth was  _ hurt _ . And after everything, what right did  _ Sephiroth _ have to feel hurt? Cloud clenched his teeth to prevent himself from responding too hastily.

“I’ve seen your physical attraction to me, but was it ever actually for me? I know you kept my gloves. Tell me Cloud, did you wear them? Did you stroke yourself and relish the feel of ‘The Great General’s’ soft leather against your swollen cock?” Sephiroth said his title sarcastically, like it belonged to someone else.

The image of himself naked and pressed against the shower wall by a fully-clothed Sephiroth flashed through his mind.

Sephiroth laughed, mocking and cruel, but as the laugh continued, the edge bled out of it until Cloud could hear the sadness beneath it.

It helped him to suppress a reactive, angry denial, and he forced himself to take a deep breath through his nose. His instincts were screaming that this conversation was critical, and that he had to proceed with caution.

Cloud shook his head and shoved aside his pride. “I do care. It’s just that everything is so...complicated.”

“Hmpf. Is that so?”

Cloud nodded. Any reason he could come up with for why it was complicated was blatantly accusatory. He tried to think of a non-inflammatory way to say it, but drew a blank.

“In all of this, you’re the part that doesn’t fit.” Sephiroth gestured towards his book again. “You don’t make sense. You never have. Everything else is like puzzle pieces coming together. But you...why are you, such a weak human, my soulmate?”

Cloud pursed his lips and reminded himself to stay cool. “I thought we’d decided to set that aside. You don’t have to be with me.”

Sephiroth looked at him seriously. “That doesn’t mean we’re not connected. Destiny has tied us together. To defy it is not a choice to be made lightly or in ignorance.”

Cloud wasn’t sure exactly what that meant. “Well, fuck destiny. We can do what we want.”

“Oh, I intend to,” Sephiroth said in a way that signaled an end to the topic.

Cloud ignored the tonal cue. “So what? Destiny only applies when you want it to? What about me?”

Sephiroth scoffed. “Leave, Cloud. I’m so close to understanding everything.”

Cloud almost lost it at the non-response. He bit his tongue to stop himself from yelling everything he’d never said. He took a deep breath through his nose and looked at Sephiroth as steadily as he could. “And what then?”

“Then...then I can be free.” Sephiroth raised his head, eyes bright, and his expression contained something that looked a lot like madness.

Anger, fear, and concern warred within him, forming a heavy pit in his belly. “Sephiroth…”

Sephiroth’s eyes returned to Cloud. “Leave.”

He hesitated. Sephiroth went back to the large tome he’d set down when Cloud had come in, and resumed reading.

Cloud raised his hand helplessly towards his soulmate, but he had no idea how to further connect without setting either of them off. Sephiroth made no acknowledgement of the movement. After a couple moments, Cloud bowed his head in defeat. With a final lingering look, he left.

~

The next night, he awoke to smoke and screams. He’d fallen asleep, exhaustion finally winning over sleep as Zack had gone alone to check on Sephiroth again.

He ran outside to find chaos. There was fire everywhere, and bleeding bodies littered the ground. The living ran from their houses, fleeing or trying to help others.

The glint of a long sword caught his eye. Sephiroth swung his blade in an arc, cutting into the back of a fleeing woman in a long nightgown. She was dead before she hit the ground.

Cloud started forward, but time seemed to slow. “Sephiroth!”

Sephiroth‘s head lifted slowly from where it had been angled to see the body below him.

Sephiroth looked at him, and Cloud stumbled. He didn’t know what he had expected to see, but it wasn’t such emotionless purpose. Sephiroth turned and walked away, straight through a wall of flames that didn’t seem to touch him.

“Sephiroth!!!”

He tried to follow, but the fire flared. Cloud grunted and raised an arm to protect his face. When he could see again, Sephiroth was gone.

He was about to push ahead anyway, when he heard his mom yelling.

“Cloud!” She ran towards him. “Cloud! Thank Gaia you’re okay!”

“Ma...” Cloud caught her and she squeezed him desperately, burying her face into his chest. Over her head, he could see that one house was not on fire—theirs. He stared at it, trying to comprehend.

“Sephiroth did this,” she said through choking sobs. “He’s gone mad. Oh, Cloud, I’m so sorry.”

Emotion threatened to take over, but his years of military training helped him push it down. Sephiroth had set fire to every house in town except for the one he grew up in. His house had been the sole exception. “I know...and I’m going to stop him.”

She looked up at him sharply. “What? Cloud, no. That’s a terrible idea.”

Cloud wiggled out of his mom’s hug and looked at the flames Sephiroth had disappeared into. It was in the direction of the path up the mountain. “I have to.”

His mom grabbed his arm in a fierce grip. “You most certainly do not.”

Cloud shook his head and ripped his arm free of her grip and gestured towards their home. “I’m sorry, Ma. I don’t think he wants to kill me, so I can maybe help.”

“Cloud, no! It won’t end well. He’s too strong! Please!”

He shook his head and followed after Sephiroth. His mom’s pleas turned more desperate, and he grit his teeth. His mom was probably right, but if there were even the slightest chance he could do something, he had to take it. He ran up the dark mountain path, leaving the flames of Nibelheim behind.


	7. Impale

The dark side he’d seen in Sephiroth all along was free. With the smoke of Nibelheim still in his lungs, the way forward was clear.

He couldn’t let Sephiroth get away with this. Sephiroth was a major threat to everyone and needed to be stopped by any means necessary, and Cloud couldn’t afford to let his emotions get in the way. He was weaker than Sephiroth and needed every edge he could get.

Unfortunately, speed was not on his side. He made more than one wrong turn on the path up the mountain. He heard Tifa in the distance and pushed himself to go faster, cursing his memory and unenhanced vision.

Zack and Tifa beat him there by enough time for him to miss their fights. They were both collapsed on the stairs in the main room of the reactor. The low sound of Sephiroth’s voice carried from beyond the door at the top of the stairs.

Tifa was slashed across her chest, unconscious. Cloud ran to her, heart racing. He gently moved her to a nearby platform and made sure she was stable before moving on.

He walked further up the stairs to Zack. Cloud crouched next to him and put a hand on his shoulder.

Zack’s eyes fluttered open, struggling to focus. “Go…. Finish him off. He’s not the Sephiroth we once knew….”

Cloud nodded, having already made the difficult decision to do what he could. His heart pounded as he stood. He knew this was likely a suicide mission, or worse. Seeing Zack defeated drove the point home, but Cloud couldn’t stand by and do nothing.

He crept through the broken down door at the top of the stairs. Zack’s buster sword was stuck in the metal floor of a walkway. Below was a long drop to the lifestream.

Sephiroth stood at the far end of the room, arms outstretched in front of him towards a central specimen tube. Under the label of ‘Jenova’, an ethereal, humanoid woman floated in a mako solution. Sephiroth was full of reverence, and Cloud had never seen him less aware of his surroundings.

He did not waste the opportunity. He grabbed the buster sword. Sephiroth did not notice as he took the final steps forward and thrusted.

The buster sword pierced straight through his side, colliding with the glass before him.

Sephiroth turned to face him, more shocked than anything. Cloud yanked the sword free and Sephiroth stumbled forward, catching himself on the tank.

Cloud jumped back, astonished he’d been able to land a direct blow on the famous general.

Cloud was generally good about not freezing in combat. He was used to the horror of battle and death. But now, all he could see was his soulmate glaring at him through his reflection on the tank.

Sephiroth was very much alive after what should have been a lethal blow. Despite having been nearly cut in half, there was very little sign that Sephiroth had taken damage. His clothing was cut, and through the gap Cloud cut just make out a strip of pale flesh painted red with what was far too little blood.

It was wrong, and he couldn’t decide which was more terrifying—killing Sephiroth or this supernatural survival.

Cloud tried to shake himself back to action. If Sephiroth had a chance to recover, it’d be over. The only advantages he’d ever had with Sephiroth were surprise and words, and he doubted words could do him any good now.

Sephiroth pushed himself back to his feet, though he did not straighten to his full height. He took Cloud in, then dismissively turned his back and stumbled to the side of the tank.

It was another opening—one Sephiroth shouldn’t have given him—but when he tried to take advantage—tried to move—he couldn’t.

Sephiroth pulled a lever next to the tank. The glass wall sunk into the ground, and the Mako solution spilled out at Sephiroth’s feet. It poured over the edge of the walkway and into the lifestream below. The humanoid creature—Jenova—fell into Sephiroth’s arms. She had several tube-like structures, which fell over the side of Sephiroth’s arms. Her legs protruded from something that looked like a heart. Sephiroth embraced her, shifting them so that he could see Cloud out of the corner of his eye.

Cloud finally found his voice. “S-Sephiroth...how could you?”

Sephiroth looked down at Jenova, once again ignoring Cloud. “We’re together now, Mother.”

Zack had said something along these lines, but surely that...creature...wasn’t actually Sephiroth’s mom.

“We can take back the planet that should have been yours.” Sephiroth shifted his grip, then with his bare hands, he tore Jenova’s head off. Her body crumpled to the ground, falling back in the tank. A shiny purple fluid dripped from her severed head. Like Sephiroth, she bled far too little for the type of wound. “But first, I must deal with my errant soulmate.”

Cloud stumbled back, trying to suppress his sudden nausea. He was used to gore. Even with his hometown burning and many lying dead, he’d kept control. But this….

Sephiroth held Jenova by the metallic band around her head and drew Masamune. He turned his full attention on Cloud.

“How dare you?”

Cloud unsteadily positioned the buster sword in front of him and tried to focus on his anger. “My hometown! All of those people—my neighbors! Dead. You...you burned Nibelheim!”

Sephiroth barely gave the buster sword a dismissive glance. “I spared the people you care about. I had decided to spare you too, but perhaps I shouldn’t. Are you,  _ dear soulmate _ , the same as all the other traitorous humans destroying our planet?”

Cloud shook his head, more in denial of Sephiroth’s madness than in answer to his question. He adjusted his stance, ready to attack.

With a flick of the masamune faster than he could process, he was disarmed. Even injured and holding an inhuman head, Sephiroth ended the fight before it could begin.

Cloud stumbled back, hands shaking. Without any movement from Sephiroth, the head he held rotated until it was facing him. Her eyes opened. The head—Jenova—was  _ looking _ at him. Her alien eyes glowed red.

It suddenly occurred to Cloud that he was in way over his head. Jenova, Sephiroth, even mako...he didn’t understand any of it.

“Your mother, Tifa, Zack...I left them all alive, for you. Aren’t you grateful, Cloud?”

He wasn’t sure if Sephiroth was serious or goading, but it hardly mattered. “You hurt them!”

Sephiroth hummed in agreement. “They’ll heal. Though if they get in my way again, I might not be so restrained. That is...unless I have a reason to be—someone to keep them alive for.”

Cloud grit his teeth. His mom’s words flashed through his mind as he processed what Sephiroth meant. ‘ _ When an abuser doesn’t think they can control their victim anymore, they often turn to violence, and that violence can be lethal _ .’

When his mom had said that, he’d assumed that only applied to him. But now...he recognized how naive that had been.

“What do you want?”

“You can start by kneeling.”

“What?!”

There was a wild glint in Sephiroth’s eyes, but he spoke with deathly seriousness. “I want you to beg for forgiveness.”

Cloud’s mouth fell open, and his brain short circuited.

Sephiroth looked at him expectantly. He needed a plan—anything—but Cloud didn’t get the impression he could leave his soulmate waiting long. Lacking any better ideas, Cloud swallowed his pride and dropped to his knees. For the lives of his loved ones, doing this wasn’t even a question.

That didn’t make it easy to force out the words. “P-please, Sephiroth…”

Sephiroth glided forward, delighting in his victory. When he was close, he sheathed Masamune and set down Jenova’s head. Her face lay at an angle, propped up by the metal band around her head, and her very alive eyes followed Sephiroth.

“This is a far more suitable position, don’t you think?”

A response was clearly expected, but Cloud couldn’t. He lowered his head.

“Beg, Cloud.”

It only took a couple heartbeats longer than it should have. “Please...forgive me.” The words were bitter in the back of his throat. “I’m sorry.”

Sephiroth stepped directly in front of him and pushed his hips forward. The undeniable bulge of a semi-erect cock pressed against Cloud’s mouth through leather pants. He reflexively turned his head.

Sephiroth unzipped his pants. “Show me, Cloud. I want to feel how sorry you are.”

Cloud’s thoughts raced. He knew what Sephiroth was asking, and he would do way more than suck a cock to save his loved ones, but there had to be some other way out. He still had a knife in his boot, but couldn’t imagine a way in which that would be enough. If he was going to make a move, it would have to be incapacitating. He didn’t know what that meant with Sephiroth, but couldn’t imagine even the best knife strike would do it.

He looked up through the part in Sephiroth’s buster coat to his face. Sephiroth met his eyes, drinking in his expression.

“You should be eager, Cloud. Haven’t you dreamt of me?”

Cloud swallowed, trying to work enough moisture into his mouth to say something. He inhaled deeply though his nose.

It was a mistake, and his stomach churned. He could clearly make out the distinct scent of Sephiroth and his sex through the leather.

He couldn’t find the words to say, so he nodded. Sephiroth hummed, pleased, and freed his cock. It was large, even while only semi-erect, with subtle blue veins. The musky smell increased, but was not as pungent as Cloud would expect after a week of not showering.

Cloud stared at it, mind blanking on how to proceed.

“Go on, Cloud.”

Cloud slowly opened his mouth and leaned forward. He tentatively wrapped his lips around the tip of Sephiroth’s cock and ran his tongue across the bottom. It elicited a low sound from Sephiroth, who fully hardened.

Cloud took Sephiroth deeper into his mouth, tongue moving in forced, jerky strokes. Sephiroth thread his fingers through Cloud’s hair.

Cloud’s mouth was too dry, which only served to make the blowjob even more uncomfortable. He paused in place, sucking hard to try to gather more saliva.

Sephiroth’s fingers tightened painfully in his hair. Cloud gasped, then coughed, barely preventing himself from choking on Sephiroth’s girth. Sephiroth guided Cloud’s head further, and he had no choice but to take the cock deeper. He forced his throat to relax.

As Cloud grew accustomed to the feel, he did the things that most men seemed to enjoy when he gave them blow jobs. Cloud carefully watched Sephiroth’s reactions as he sucked, hummed, and licked, trying to learn the man’s preferences.

Sephiroth closed his eyes, tilting his head upwards and moaning. Sephiroth’s hands held him in place, and Cloud did the best he could with that limitation.

His anger burned hot, swirling oddly with the fear and helplessness in his belly. He tried to suppress it and focus on the blowjob. So much rode on Sephiroth’s whims.

Sephiroth thrusted, pushing with enough force that Cloud briefly gagged. He glanced nervously to the side, noting the lack of railings with what must be a fatal drop to the lifestream below.

And suddenly, Cloud had a plan. If he could move them a foot or two to the left, it would only take one good shove to end it.

Cloud shifted as much as he could with Sephiroth’s next thrust, and the friction of the movement drew his attention to an unwelcome truth. He was growing hard.

His face flushed. How could he possibly be responding to this?

It’s just physical, he told himself, but it immediately fell flat. He wasn’t being touched, not like the time in the locker room. This blowjob was meant entirely for Sephiroth’s twisted pleasure.

He whimpered, and Sephiroth took in his face and posture with a glance. The bastard smirked, and humiliation filled Cloud as he realized that Sephiroth  _ knew _ .

Sephiroth gripped his hair tighter and picked up his pace. Cloud tried to focus on relaxing his throat and breathing through his nose each time Sephiroth pulled back.

Cloud had engaged in some kinkier sex before, and he enjoyed relinquishing control and bottoming, but a large part of the appeal had been the complete trust and consent with his partner. This was completely different, and he hated that he was even comparing the two experiences. But maybe the position, the roughness, and the feel of a cock in his throat was bringing out some sort of muscle memory.

Cloud shifted, and felt the pleasurable friction in his cock. He moaned, and Sephiroth’s breathing picked up, probably getting off on Cloud’s twisted arousal. His thrusting grew erratic, and just as he was about to finish, he pulled out.

Cloud was so relieved that Sephiroth wasn’t going to make him swallow that he missed his intentions until Sephiroth stroked himself a couple more times and groaned. Thick, hot cum splattered Cloud’s face. He flinched and quickly closed his mouth.

Coming on his face was a move of dominance and possession—a visible marking of Cloud’s submission and hopefully, worth.

Sephiroth put a hand on Cloud’s chin and tilted his head up. Cloud flushed and closed his eyes, but not before he saw the savage gleam of victory in Sephiroth’s eyes. He went to wipe his face.

“Don’t.”

Cloud let his arm fall limply to his side. Sephiroth tilted his head, clearly pondering his next move. His eyes flicked to Jenova, then to the door behind Cloud. Cloud’s heart nearly stopped as he realized Sephiroth was considering just leaving. He couldn’t let him get away. He needed a way to make him stay.

A wild, reckless idea popped into his mind, and with no time to consider it properly, he spoke.

“Fuck me.”

Sephiroth’s expression of dominance shattered into shock.

With a hitched breath full of too many emotions, Cloud grinded against Sephiroth’s leg, letting him feel the proof of his shameful arousal. Instigating something like this...he couldn’t decide if it was better or worse than being forced, but too much was on the line to worry about it then.

_ ‘Think of it like a fight’ _ , he told himself.

“Why should I?” Sephiroth asked. His expression was coldly superior, but his voice was undeniably interested.

Cloud only needed a little more to convince him. What would Sephiroth want to hear?

“Fuck me into submission,” Cloud said as levelly as he could. “I know you want to.”

It worked. Sephiroth’s breath hitched, and his pupils dilated.

Cloud knee walked slightly backwards and towards the edge. He grabbed Sephiroth’s hand, and pulled him forward. He followed, eyes locked entirely on Cloud and probably not even registering their new positions.

Maybe this could actually work. He judged their distance from the edge out of his peripheral vision. It would do. He pulled Sephiroth more firmly, hoping to bring him down to his level.

Sephiroth twisted his hand, slipping it out of Cloud’s grip and grabbing his wrist. Sephiroth’s expression shifted, becoming detached, and for a moment, Cloud was sure he’d been found out.

“Is this what you want?”

Cloud’s eyes widened, but his shock was quickly overcome with anger. He ducked his head, feeling the drying cum on his face. How dare Sephiroth pretend to care about his desires now? He took a measured breath. This was a battle. He just had to say something that would work.

The silence was stretching too long. He licked his lips nervously. “You’re my soulmate. I can see now how much that means.”

Cloud heard the bitterness in his voice and immediately cringed. What a stupid thing to say after Sephiroth had just burned Nibelheim.

Except Sephiroth released Cloud’s wrist and carded his fingers tenderly through his hair. Cloud chanced a look up, but Sephiroth was looking at him with fondness, not skepticism.

Cloud realized why with a jolt. In his madness, Sephiroth had restrained from burning his house down, and had left those closest to him alive. Sephiroth thought Cloud was referring to that and appreciating it.

“So you want me to ‘fuck you into submission’? Is that not what we just did? Do you like it rough, Cloud?”

“Uhhh...” He did, ordinarily, but that was with real, enthusiastic consent.

Sephiroth smirked and continued to tenderly run his fingers through Cloud’s hair. He bent down, whispering into Cloud’s ear. “Good, Cloud. So do I.”

Cloud shivered as Sephiroth pulled back. Long strands of silky hair brushed his face as Sephiroth straightened. Sephiroth undid the straps across his chest and shrugged his buster coat off, tossing it carelessly behind him. He methodically stripped as Cloud watched, spellbound. Sephiroth paused only when he reached his gloves as he shot Cloud a considering glance.

Cloud blushed, remembering Sephiroth’s words in the library from just yesterday.  _ ‘I know you kept my gloves. Tell me Cloud, did you wear them? Did you stroke yourself and relish the feel of ‘The Great General’s’ soft leather against your swollen cock?’ _

He couldn’t meet the man’s eyes. Half as a way to hide his face, he pulled his handkerchief over his head. He watched his hands pull at the buckles keeping his armor in place until they came undone and set them to the side. After he was done removing the last of his clothes, he finally looked up at Sephiroth again.

Sephiroth was completely nude except for the leather glove on his right hand. Only a red line of blood with a couple dried drips showed the wound Cloud had inflicted. Sephiroth flexed his gloved hand when he caught Cloud staring. Cloud’s face felt like it was about to catch fire.

Sephiroth knelt next to him, cupping Cloud’s cheek with his right hand. The leather felt smooth and cool against his flushed skin, but as Sephiroth slid it to his chin, it stuck slightly to his drying cum.

The reminder of Sephiroth’s forced blowjob brought Cloud’s mind back to his mission. Before he could overthink it, he grabbed Sephiroth’s hand with both of his, bringing it to his lips and taking control. He stared into Sephiroth’s unique, green eyes as he kissed the leather, tasting smoke and semen. Sephiroth’s breath caught. Cloud let himself fall back, landing close to the edge. He braced himself on his elbows.

Sephiroth followed, coming to kneel above Cloud’s thighs. His hands landed on his hips and slid up to explore his abs. The differing textures of his bare skin on one side and leather on the other provided a nice contrast.

Cloud considered trying to shove Sephiroth off the edge right then, but dismissed it. Sephiroth was in a stable position and far too alert to Cloud’s actions.

Sephiroth’s fingers danced around his pecs before spiraling in on his nipples. Cloud’s breath hitched, and he raised his right arm to touch Sephiroth only to be pushed flat onto his back.

“Hands by your side,” Sephiroth ordered.

Cloud shot him a questioning look, but complied, uneasy about the control Sephiroth was taking.

Perhaps telling Sephiroth to ‘fuck him into submission’ had been a poor choice of words. But it was too late to take them back now, and he just had to go along with it until he got an opportunity to end it.

He took a deep, steadying breath. Sephiroth smelled good, with hints of vanilla, leather, and smoke. The scent was stronger than normal, but somehow lacking normal body odor.

Sephiroth leaned forward, hair falling in a silver curtain over Cloud’s torso. Sephiroth’s hot breath ghosted over his neck before he trailed kisses up to his ear. Cloud tilted his head back and inhaled sharply as Sephiroth nibbled on his earlobe. He moved smoothly over Cloud’s neck, kissing, licking, and biting the most sensitive areas in the region. It appeared that Sephiroth remembered his exploration of Cloud’s body from the shower room so long ago. It did not take long for him to fall into the sensations—writhing and moaning.

Cloud automatically jerked his hips upwards. He briefly found friction against Sephiroth before his back was pressed firmly against the metal walkway.

“Not yet,” Sephiroth murmured directly into his ear. Sephiroth shifted forward, and Cloud moaned as he felt the press of Sephiroth’s hard cock against his.

Sephiroth’s thumbs—one leather-covered and the other bare—rubbed teasing circles around his nipples. Cloud’s torso tried to twist his pec further into the greater friction caused by Sephiroth’s glove, but he was pushed almost painfully into the ground by Sephiroth’s wrists in a feat of dexterity that allowed his thumbs to continue circling.

Sephiroth inhaled deeply from the crook of his neck, clearly smelling him, then sat up, admiring Cloud’s arousal. His lips quirked upwards maliciously.

“Don’t move. If you do, I’ll stop until you settle down.”

Cloud looked disbelievingly at Sephiroth. It was kind of too late for that. Sephiroth had gone straight for the type of foreplay that turned Cloud on, and it had worked. He was already hard.

Sephiroth pinched and twisted his nipple with his bare hand. The unexpectedness of it on his more neglected side caused Cloud to jerk.

Sephiroth stilled. “Do you understand?”

Cloud closed his eyes. He didn’t want to play this game, but he only had to go along with it until he got an opportunity to act.

He tried to calm his body with a deep breath. “Yes.”

A breath against his ear was the only warning before Sephiroth resumed ravaging his upper neck and earlobe.

Cloud tensed, struggling to keep himself still. His neck had always been particularly sensitive and the pleasure radiated through his entire body. This was going to get hard real fast. 

Still kissing his neck, Sephiroth trailed his gloved hand back down Cloud’s abs, directly towards his cock. Cloud braced himself and gasped as the soft leather ghosted along his stiff length. His muscles seized as he forced his hips to stay in place.

An embarrassing keening sound escaped him, and Sephiroth chuckled. He stroked a couple times with the same tantalizing pressure. It was maddeningly too little friction, and Cloud panted from the effort of not pushing into it. Sephiroth closed his hand most of the way around both of their cocks. Cloud moaned, just barely stopping himself from reacting further.

Sephiroth sat up, making eye contact as he casually rubbed his hand up and down. “Good, Cloud. Good.”

At the arc of his next upwards stroke, Sephiroth ran his thumb along Cloud’s slit, smearing precum along the head. Cloud couldn’t help it—his hips jerked violently.

Sephiroth, the sadistic bastard, grinned and removed his hand. Cloud let out a frustrated exhale and forced himself rigid. His balls were hot and aching, and he was nearing his peak. He just needed a little bit more. Sephiroth let the moment stretch before he resumed stroking.

It only took a few strokes for Cloud to get close again. Pressure built in his groin. His toes curled as he held himself still with a momentous feet of will. But when his head fell back in preparation for his release, Sephiroth pulled away again.

Cloud groaned and glared. It occurred to him then that his plan was not going well. The strain of forcing his muscles to be still was quickly depleting his remaining energy, and his muscles trembled from the intense use. Sephiroth, on the other hand, was still on top of him and in far greater control of himself. 

But between the unrestrained pleasure in his eyes and the flush on his face, it was clear Sephiroth was enjoying his submission. Maybe if he could keep going a little longer, Sephiroth would be able to get off on the whole scene. Then Cloud could give him a truly world ending orgasm.

Sephiroth left Cloud untouched longer this time, waiting until he came back from the edge. Cloud deepened his glare, and Sephiroth’s smile widened.

Cloud opened his mouth to say something, but was cut off by Sephiroth’s leather thumb gliding around the head of his cock and over the slit. He moaned loudly and his lower half spasmed, causing Sephiroth to pull away again.

This time, Cloud only had a moment to brace himself before Sephiroth continued, no longer teasing. His hand worked rapidly. Cloud focused on keeping his limbs still and his hips firmly planted on the ground.

The pressure built, and Cloud closed his eyes as he was about to reach his peak.

Sephiroth’s hand pulled away.

Cloud yelled before he realized his back had arched off the ground. “Sephiroth! Come on!”

Sephiroth laughed, but brought his hand back. However, instead of resuming to stroke both of their cocks, he only stroked his own. Sephiroth’s cock moved, causing a little friction against Cloud’s, but nowhere near enough. He growled.

Sephiroth smirked and widened his grasp to include Cloud again. He slowed, but at this point Cloud didn’t need much. He forced his body to be still, not realizing he was holding his breath until the room spun. Cloud forced himself to breath, but breathing and holding still was too much, and his hips jutted up.

Sephiroth’s hand stopped, and Cloud cried out in frustration.

He ached with need. “Sephiroth!”

Sephiroth hummed, lazily stroking his own cock with his thumb. Cloud’s control finally snapped. He couldn’t stay still under such painful heat and teasing.

Sephiroth laughed. “Oh, Cloud, you’re so beautiful like this—helpless and writhing as you do everything you can to obey me.”

“Bastard,” Cloud said, but then his tone turned softer in the face of his overwhelming need. “Sephiroth...I can’t. Please?”

Sephiroth hummed in fake consideration, but his grip widened to include Cloud. He sped up, and the friction of the soft leather felt amazing. Mercifully, Sephiroth didn’t stop again, and Cloud reached his peak.

He felt like a live wire as he came hard. Jolts of electricity shot through his entire body, colliding in shudders of pleasure. His back arched as he writhed. Sephiroth continued to stroke him through it.

When Cloud came down, he sagged on the floor, boneless and panting. His hot release covered his abdomen. Every part of him felt good and relaxed. The room swam around him pleasantly.

Sephiroth repositioned himself so that he was kneeling between Cloud’s legs, pushing them apart and upwards. He lifted Cloud’s butt off the ground. His legs came to rest against Sephiroth’s shoulders, one on either side of his head. Cloud’s hazed brain took a moment to catch up. He blinked rapidly, trying to clear the post-orgasm haze.

Sephiroth ran his bare fingers through Cloud’s fresh cum. He rubbed his index and middle fingers in circles, thoroughly coating them before moving down. As his wet finger rubbed around Cloud’s puckered entrance, Cloud finally put two and two together.

“Wait, Sephiroth. I can’t...” Cloud struggled to finish the phrase and gave up. “Not right after that…”

Sephiroth pushed his finger in, and Cloud gasped, clenching around it. Sephiroth looked positively predatory as he said, “You asked me to fuck you.”

Cloud stared at him, trying to think of any appropriate words. Sephiroth met his eyes and added a second finger, thrusting it all the way in. Cloud gasped and tried to jerk away, but Sephiroth’s gloved hand gripped his thigh tightly, keeping him firmly in position.

The intrusion was too much. He was oversensitive—the edging having left him more so than a normal orgasm. Sephiroth explored his insides, rubbing and twisting. Cloud gasped when Sephiroth found his prostate.

Cloud glared, but that was interrupted as Sephiroth scissored his fingers. “Ah! Sephiroth…stop.”

“Do you really want me to stop?” Sephiroth shook his head. “I thought you had more stamina, Cloud. But then again, you are a SOLDIER reject.”

Cloud glared and hit the hand Sephiroth was using to hold his ass up. Sephiroth’s arm didn’t budge, but Sephiroth slowly set him back down. He pulled his fingers out, frowning. The fact that Sephiroth would stop if he wanted him to was actually pretty hot. It was disturbing to be thinking of Sephiroth like that after everything, but it helped Cloud get his anger back under control.

He had a mission here. Sephiroth was attractive and horrible, but he had to focus on what mattered. He had to ignore the goading. He just needed to go along with it for a little while longer. He thought of the flames and Tifa’s torso sliced open. He could deal with this.

Cloud’s glare didn’t soften as he said, “fine. Do it, you fucking sadist.”

Sephiroth’s predatory grin returned, and he slid his still gloved hand under Cloud’s back and easily lifted his hips back up. He thrust his cum-coated fingers back in, right against his prostate. Cloud didn’t muffle his pained cry, and Sephiroth didn’t pause before spreading his fingers to stretch Cloud.

A moment later, he removed his fingers. He refreshed the coating of Cloud’s cum on them, then used it to lubricate his cock. Cloud breathed heavily as he watched. Sephiroth pressed the tip of his large cock against his entrance.

With a single thrust, Sephiroth pushed fully inside him. Cloud cried out at the sudden and aching pain. Sephiroth’s cock was significantly larger than two fingers. Sephiroth halted there, leaning forward over Cloud such that his silver hair formed a curtain between them and the outer world. His eyes were wild and eager, but nonetheless, he seemed to be waiting for Cloud.

Cloud couldn’t decide if he was grateful or not. This on and off again concern for his well-being only made things more complicated. Sephiroth was mad—evil even—and Cloud didn’t want anything to soften his feelings while he was attempting to do what needed to be done.

When Cloud could relax his muscles and the pain lessened to an acceptable degree, he nodded. Sephiroth bent forward enough to kiss him as he began to move. Their lips met in a way that was oddly soft. Cloud’s eyes fell closed as he parted his lips to let Sephiroth in.

A pang of guilt went through him, and he did his best to bury it.

The stabbing motion of Sephiroth’s cock was still painful, but part of that pain was beginning to shift to pleasure. Sephiroth shifted his grip to Cloud’s hips and rocked him forward as he thrust.

His cock twitched, stirring back to life. Cloud moaned, and pushed along with Sephiroth.

For a minute, he lost himself. All that existed was him, Sephiroth, and overwhelming sensation. Silky silver hair brushed against his naked torso. Soft lips delicately explored his mouth. Sephiroth’s smell was delicious in his mouth, his nose, and curling around every part of him. The musk, the vanilla, the hint of leather still clinging to him, and a little bit of smoke….

Smoke. Smoke from Nibelheim.

Cloud pulled out of the kiss, leaning his head against the hard floor. Sephiroth sped up, and Cloud shamefully hardened again despite the dark thoughts dominating his thoughts.

He distantly noted that this was shorter than his normal refractory period. He didn’t want to think about what that meant.

Cloud breathed heavily, and the exhaustion of the day caught up to him. He’d had too little sleep and too many emotions, followed by a run up the mountain and now this. He had to save some strength. Cloud moaned and tried to relax, turning over the work to Sephiroth, who hadn’t broken a sweat.

Now that they were full on fucking, Sephiroth acted with little restraint. His grip on Cloud’s hips was bruising, and his pace was hard.

Cloud glanced at the edge. He wrapped his legs around Sephiroth, both bracing himself against Sephiroth’s penetration and putting himself into a position where he could flip him more easily over the edge.

Sephiroth’s thrusting sped up, becoming more erratic. The pleasure Cloud had experienced dampened with the strength of Sephiroth’s stabbing motions that could only come from an enhanced person. Cloud tensed as he tried to mentally prepare himself. The resulting clench brought Sephiroth to his peak. Sephiroth groaned, eyes falling shut in bliss, as he came.

Hot fluid spurted into Cloud’s insides, and the cock impaling him began to soften. Cloud made his move. He tightened his legs around Sephiroth’s torso. With all of his strength, he twisted his entire body.

Sephiroth’s eyes snapped open as he was jerked to the side, still mid-orgasm. He lost his grip on Cloud’s hips and tried to regain his balance, but it was too late. He fell over the side, complete shock on his face.

He fell quickly, and Cloud thought Sephiroth’s eyes locked onto his, but he couldn’t be sure as the distance between them rapidly increased. Cloud watched, clinging to the edge of the walkway. Sephiroth disappeared into the lifestream.

Cloud stared, frozen, as the lifestream continued to flow as if it hadn’t just taken in his soulmate.

Jenova’s head caught his attention out of the corner of his eye. It was changing. Cloud wondered if his exhausted mind was hallucinating, but no, her head was definitely growing. Her humanoid features distorted around the metal band.

She rolled onto her face before coming to rest on her severed neck so that she was facing him. Cloud’s heart nearly stopped, but he was too exhausted to muster up any more adrenaline.

He stretched his arm and could only just reach her hair because she was growing  _ towards _ him. The strands were silky and straight—just like Sephiroth’s—and he had to tangle his fingers to grip it.

With the last of his strength, Cloud pulled the thing over his body and shoved it off the edge. She fell after Sephiroth, into the lifestream.

He collapsed to the ground, glad he didn’t have the energy left to feel or think.

He knew he’d done what needed to be done, but that didn’t change the fact that he had just betrayed Sephiroth and murdered his soulmate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I simultaneously want to apologize and not apologize for all of this.
> 
> We’re at the end of the first arc, but the story is far from over. I have two more arcs planned. Please let me know what you think of it all so far. I want to grow as a writer, so I would very much appreciate constructive feedback.
> 
> Some questions I’ve been pondering: How’s the angst balance so far? Were the time jumps jarring? What do you think? Any writing style tips? I’m especially interested in advice and tips I can take into my future writing.
> 
> I updated the A/N on the first chapter to include more information on the warnings of this fic, so check that out if you’re sensitive or curious. And as a general survey, how much smut would you like to see going forward?
> 
> Even if you don’t answer any of my questions or have constructive criticism, I’d love to hear from you! ❤️


	8. Maxt Interlude

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! This is a short chapter, but I want to let you all know that this fic is not abandoned. I love it very much and fully plan on finishing it.
> 
> I've been struggling with my health, which had made it hard for me to focus on a story as long as complex as this one. So this fic will be slow-going on the updates for a while. I'm doing everything I can to get to a point where I can spend more time on my passion of writing. I *love* doing this.
> 
> Thank you all so much for your support and patience. <3

Maxt led the way into the reactor, followed cautiously by the rest of his unit. They were entering the last known location of the now-rogue Sephiroth. Several paces behind them were several out-of-breath scientists and Professor Hojo.

Once inside, Maxt and his unit fanned out, checking for active threats. He scanned the room as quickly as possible. His eyes landed on a man bleeding out on the stairs. He approached carefully, recognizing the distinctive spiky hair as first class SOLDIER, Zack Fair.

He gestured for the two men behind him to attend to Zack. Maxt’s fingers tightened around his gun, and he proceeded to the top of the chamber.

He was on high alert and fully ready to retreat when he froze. Instead of looking at an active threat or the remains of a battle, he was looking at what appeared to be the aftermath of a messed up sexual interaction. Maxt’s breathing picked up, and for a moment, he saw the face of his childhood abuser. He shoved the flashback away.

A pale, skinny man lay limp and fully naked with his legs spread and fresh bruises marring his hips. He lay next to two piles of clothing, one with a very distinctive sword on it.

The masamune.

Maxt looked around again, but Sephiroth was nowhere to be seen. It was definitely his sword though. Something didn’t add up. He couldn’t imagine the deadly general wandering the mountain naked or without his sword.

In the room behind him, Maxt could make out Hojo calling something ‘intriguing’ with far too cheerful of a voice.

Maxt focused on the naked man, and a jolt of adrenaline shot through him as he recognized him.

Cloud.

He dropped to his knees, pressing fingers against Cloud’s pulse point, unable to avoid the multiple hickeys. His stomach churned. Cloud was alive, but he did not look well. Maxt quickly scanned the rest of his body with trembling hands. He found no major injuries, but Cloud’s skin was clammy and his face was covered with what had to be semen.

Maxt shook his head. It had been difficult and terrifying to hear that they were going after Sephiroth, who had gone wild and burnt a town full of innocents. But now, seeing his frequent mission partner here looking so used…it felt too real and personal.

“Oh, Cloud,” Maxt whispered with the sort of emotion he normally didn’t allow at work. “What happened to you?”

Cloud’s eyes fluttered open, and he tried to look around. His gaze flicked to the edge of the platform just inches away and his breathing grew heavy.

Maxt put a hand on his shoulder, and thought back to what he had wanted to hear when he’d been taken advantage of. “Hey buddy, you’re safe now. He’s gone.”

Maxt doubted the truth of his words as soon as he said them. This wasn’t an ordinary rescue mission. He knew what it meant to be on a clean up trip with Hojo.

“Maxt?” Cloud asked. Maxt’s heart ached.

“I’m here,” he said.

“I killed him,” Cloud whispered. “I killed Sephiroth.”

Maxt didn’t know what to think of that. He didn’t know what to think of any of it. He looked at the masamune again, wondering if it was possible. He doubted it, but expressing that felt like the wrong thing to say.

He fell back to the hollow words he’d been given the few times he'd opened up about his own experiences. “It’s not your fault.”

Cloud exhaled and his eyes fell shut again. Maxt wasn’t sure if his words had meant anything to Cloud or if he’d simply succumbed to the exhaustion.

He knew that what came next for Cloud would be bad. Maxt had caught on to the darker side of Shinra long ago. He’d been doing questionable missions with high clearance for years and was only one promotion away from commander.

Maxt freed the strands of Cloud’s spiky hair that clung to his damp face, which sprang back into place like a spring released. Cloud’s hair had always been a private source of amusement for him. After shared shifts in the heat, Cloud would take off his helmet, and before he could finish wiping the sweat off his brow, the blond hair would stick straight back up. His hair was a lot like the man himself—reliably stubborn.

Maxt had always held himself back from his coworkers. He knew full well that by joining Shinra he’d traded some of his morals for a better life. Getting close to his coworkers would only open the doors for pain. But despite his barriers, Cloud had been with him for years. Even though they rarely spoke, they’d stood near each other with the implicit trust that they had each other’s back, and somewhere along the line, camaraderie had crept in.

His heart constricted and Maxt looked behind him, considering something contrary to mission goals for the first time in years. But then Hojo’s head appeared over the top of the stairs, and there was nothing Maxt could do but carry on with his mission. He allowed his fingers to run through Cloud’s hair before he stepped back to make room for Hojo.


End file.
